NewsRadio (TV Series)

No, This Is Not Based Entirely on Julie's Life (1995)

Dave Foley: Dave Nelson

Quotes 

• Beth : Dave, what do you do when you're in a relationship and the sexual heat starts to fade?

  Dave : Gosh, I don't know. Ask my boss about it?

• Dave : Did you ever send out those naked pictures?

  Beth : What? Who told you about those?

  Dave : Well, nobody told me. I had some film developed and they threw in some nudie pictures of you for free.

  Beth : What?

  Dave : I'm kidding, Beth. Lisa told me.

  Beth : Well, you know I faxed the nudie pictures to Keith, and he invited me to come visit him next week.

  Dave : Oh, yeah, well, that's great.

  Beth : Yeah, well, so can I have the week off and a two-thousand dollar salary advance?

  Dave : No.

  Beth : I'll show you the naked pictures...

  Dave : Ah, OK, we'll talk.

• [Lisa bursts into Dave's office] 

  Lisa : Have you ever taken naked pictures of yourself?

  [Long pause] 

  Dave : [into speakerphone]  Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back.

• Beth : Dave, why don't you just tell her what turns you on and get it over with?

  Dave : Because that would ruin it.

  Beth : Why's that?

  Dave : To tell you the truth, what really turns me on is when Lisa is mad at me.

  Beth : OK, I wish I didn't know that. Are you going back to her place now?

  Lisa : [calling impatiently from the other room]  Dave, are you coming?

  Dave : Oh, yeah.

• Dave : OK, um, ever since I was 14, I've always fantasized about making love on the space shuttle...

  Lisa : Well, that's, that's, that's adorable, Dave.

  Dave : ...with a space prostitute.

  Lisa : [long pause]  Alright, you're joking again.

  Dave : I wish I were.

  Lisa : Well, do, do you think you can give me a fantasy that's just a little bit more reasonable?

  Dave : [sighs]  Ok, uh, let's try this. Come here.

  [motioning for Lisa] 

  Dave : Uh, I'd like to go up on the roof of my building, bring up a blanket, and a very good bottle of wine, and make love with a space prostitute.

• Dave : That's all for this morning meeting, unless anyone has anything they like to say.

  Catherine Duke : I do. Today would have been Mahatma Gandhi's birthday, and I think than, in his honor, we should all observe a moment of silence.

  [Everyone bows their head] 

  Bill McNeal : Mahatma who?

  Catherine Duke : Mahatma Gandhi.

  [pause] 

  Bill McNeal : A great man.

  Catherine Duke : Shut up. It's supposed to be a moment of silence.

  [pause] 

  Bill McNeal : Sorry.

  Catherine Duke : Well, thanks for everything. We'll try it again next year.

  Matthew Brock : I bet if we lived in India, we'd get like a three-day weekend or something.

  Bill McNeal : I think we should also have a moment of silence for Ben Kingsley, who, as we all know, played Gandhi in the movie of the same name.

  Catherine Duke : Ben Kingsley's not dead.

  Bill McNeal : No, but he's a hell of an actor, isn't he?

• Jimmy James : Morning, wage apes.

  Dave : Mr. James, I thought you had vacation this week.

  Jimmy James : I'm on it.

  Dave : You are?

  Jimmy James : Why travel when you have the resources of the world's greatest city right here?

  Dave : Right.

  Jimmy James : Yeah. I'm gonna go use the can.