NewsRadio (TV Series)

The Cane (1995)

Dave Foley: Dave Nelson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bill : You see, it's like the old saying, "Everybody loves a cane."

  Dave : No, Bill. I think the old saying is "Everybody loves a clown." Which is what you look like with that thing.

• Bill : You do realize I'm just going to go and buy another cane, don't you?

  Dave : Yeah, and I'm just gonna steal it again.

  Bill : Touché. Beth?

  [from outside Dave's office, Beth tosses Bill a cane] 

  Bill : [sticking it in Dave's couch]  Here's one you can take right now.

  Bill : [Beth immediately tosses Bill another cane, which he lays on Dave's desk]  This one you can break later.

  Bill : [another cane flies in, which Bill tosses on the floor]  Here's one for the Hamptons.

  Bill : [Beth tosses Bill a fourth cane, which he tucks under his arm]  This one I like; I keep.

  Bill : [a fifth cane flies in]  This one displeases me.

  [Bill tosses it back out the door] 

• Bill : I guess my cane is lost, and I'll just have to accept that, and get on with my life.

  Bill : [Bill starts to leave Dave's office in frustration over not having found his cane; Dave subtly steps toward the window, then pauses]  ... You stepped in front of the window...

  Dave : I did what?

  Bill : When I moved to the door, you moved in front of the window as if you were protecting something.

  Dave : OK, Bill... Bill, I'm asking you to leave.

  Bill : You taped it to the side of the building, or under the window sill! I read your book, you magnificent bastard!

  Dave : OK, Bill. I - I - I'm now - I'm now ordering you to leave!

  Bill : I'll leave - but first I'm looking out that window.

  Dave : [as Bill walks to window and pulls up blinds]  Bill, you're gonna feel pretty stupid when it's not out there.

  Bill : It's out there. I know it's out there.

  Dave : Bill?

  Bill : ...Yes, Dave?

  Dave : ...I stole your cane!

  Dave : [Dave walks to the window, reaches outside and retrieves Bill's cane from under the window sill]  Bill, I - I... I'm sorry, Bill; I - I don't know why I - I - I did it and - and - and again, I'm - I'm - I'm sorry, Bill.

  Bill : That is the most childish, immature thing I've ever seen you do.

  Dave : No, this is.

  Dave : [breaks the cane over his knee]  Ah, but you knew I was gonna do that.

  Bill : No, that one caught me by surprise.

• Jimmy : Do you know what makes this country great?

  Dave : [sighs]  What?

  Jimmy : I don't know, but I do know this. If Henry Ford and John Chrysler'd been sleeping together, Hell we'd be... we'd all be traveling around in horse buggies.

• Lisa Miller : What did you do in high school when they gave out a pop quiz?

  Dave : I hyperventilated and got a note from the nurse.

• Bill : Nice out there today. Perfect cane weather.

  Dave : Well, then Central Park must be full of idiots with canes.

• Matthew Brock : [whispering]  Dave.

  Dave : Matthew, why are you whispering?

  Matthew Brock : Because lately Joe has been looking at me with hate in his eyes. It's like he's zapping me with hate rays. Zap, zap-zap-zap.

  Dave : Zap, zap-zap-zap, eh?

  Matthew Brock : Dave, please don't mock me.

  Dave : It's very hard not to.

• Jimmy : So, what you're-what you're sayin' to me is that, uh, because of your personal relationship you see the value in non-competitive cooperation?

  Dave : Well, yes.

  Jimmy : That may work wonders in the bedroom, but I tell you what, do me a favor and keep that kind of crap out of my office.

• Dave : If Henry Ford and John Chrysler had argued like this, we'd still be driving around in a horse and buggy.

  Matthew Brock : Ummm... who - who's John Chrysler?

  Dave : The... the guy that invented the Chrysler?

  Joe Garrelli : There - there's no such person as John Chrysler!

  Matthew Brock : Oh, no - no; wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is he by any chance related to Jack Chevrolet?