- [after Harry says, "I love you" to him, then turns to leave]
- Dan Fielding: Harry, I l... I l...
- Mr. Feldman: [pulls the curtain aside] You love him too! Spit it out!
- [Dan just looks at him]
- Mr. Feldman: Oh please, allow me.
- [closes the curtain on himself]
- Dan Fielding: There, I said it.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [smiles] Yeah, you did. Now try and say it to yourself.
- Dan Fielding: You don't get it, do you? Listen to me. No one is ever going to love me. No one is ever going to say "I love you", and do you know why? Because in order to be loved one must be able to - give... and I . can't . give. I can not. I have never been able to give. And I don't... know why.
- Dan Fielding: Harry, do you know how many women I have slept with?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Dan, it doesn't matter how many women you've slept with!
- [pause]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: A hundred?
- Dan Fielding: You ever see the signs over the golden arches that say, "over 4 billion served"? Let's just say I'm competitive.
- Mac Robinson: What do you say to a man who is lying limp in bed?
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: Last night was fun; Now get lost.
- Morgue Attendant: [carting a bodybag through the hospital sees Bull in a clown suit] A little advice. Change your shoes before stepping in front of a bus.
- [uncovers a deceased clown]
- Bull Shannon: You mean?
- Morgue Attendant: Bobo got a booboo.
- Phil Sanders: [Bursts into Dan's room] Dan! I...
- Dan Fielding: Oh, Phil, spit it out.
- Phil Sanders: [Kneels bedside Dan's bed] Dan, uh...
- [starts sobbing on Dan's arm]
- Dan Fielding: I didn't mean that literally.
- Phil Sanders: I'm so happy that you're okay.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: You know, Dan, you owe quite a debt to Phil.
- Dan Fielding: What are you talking about?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: You needed a transfusion and none of us matched your type, so...
- Dan Fielding: Oh, no!
- Phil Sanders: I'm coursing through your veins even as we speak, Dan.
- Dan Fielding: Oh, my God!
- Phil Sanders: It's beautiful, isn't it? I am you. You are me.
- Dan Fielding: Yeah, now we both got hookworm! I want you and your green, furry teeth outta here!
- Phil Sanders: [Turns to Harry] He's gonna be just fine.
- [leaves the room]
- Dan Fielding: Ah, I can feel the Sterno pumping through my veins.
- Dr. Flick: [Explaining how Dan got in the coma] Mr. Feilding participated in an overly stress inducing activity.
- Christine Sullivan: I don't understand! What kind of activity could he have participate in? He's in bed!
- [Harry gives her a look and she realizes what activity it would be]
- Christine Sullivan: Right.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Okay, So you haven't found the right person so you keep looking.
- Dan Fielding: [Exasperated] Harry! I have dated the State.