Night Court (TV Series)

The Cop and the Lady (1989)

Harry Anderson: Judge Harry T. Stone

Quotes 

• [after the staff reads Dan's death threat, a bum walks into Harry's office, reaching into his coat] 

  Tony Giuliano : I'm looking for Fielding...

  Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : IT'S HIM, HE'S GOT A GUN!

  [He dives behind Harry's couch while Christine sprays the bum in the eyes] 

  Christine Sullivan : Eat mace, bozo!

  Tony Giuliano : Ah, geez, lady, I'm a cop!

  [shows his badge] 

  Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone : You must be Detective Giuliano. I'm Judge Stone, the lump behind the couch is Dan Fielding. Of course you already met the lovely Christine Sullivan.

  Tony Giuliano : [still blinking off the mace]  Charmed.

  Christine Sullivan : Well, what was I supposed to think? You have... doggie doo on your shoes.

  Tony Giuliano : I'm undercover, I put it there!

• [Dan receives what he thinks is a love letter from an anonymous female admirer] 

  Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : Want to hear it?

  Everyone : No.

  Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : Okay!

  [reading in an exaggerated French accent] 

  Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : "Dear Dan... I want *you*. I dream about *you*. There isn't a day goes by that I don't want you... dead!"

  [He stops reading and goggles at the letter. Harry takes it and finishes reading] 

  Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone : "You die today, Pigface. Signed, The Prince of Death."

  Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon : [filming the scene through a video camera]  HA-HA-HA-HA! And you guys thought this wouldn't be exciting!

• Tony Giuliano : [reading Dan's death threat]  "Dear Dan... die, Pigface." Yep, sounds like our boy all right. Ex-con by the name of Norman Snite.

  Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone : Norman Snite? No wonder he calls himself the Prince of Death.

  Tony Giuliano : Yeah, he came through your courtroom about three months ago.

  [Harry, Christine, and Dan shrug blankly] 

  Tony Giuliano : Attempted murder?

  [Another blank shrug] 

  Tony Giuliano : Enormous buck-teeth?

  Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding , Christine Sullivan , Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone : Oh, *that* Norman Snite!

  Tony Giuliano : Yeah, well, it seems he's very sensitive about those teeth.

  [to Dan] 

  Tony Giuliano : Is it possible you might have made some comment that could be construed as inconsiderate or insensitive?

  Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : [fakes a laugh]  Well, I don't know, *maybe* I said something he misinterpreted...

  Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone : Such as, "Snite, you're lucky you haven't been shot for the ivory"?

  Asst. D.A. Dan Fielding : And Mr. Thin Skin takes it the wrong way!

  Christine Sullivan : Well, what did you expect? All his life, people have been focusing only on his physical appearance, afraid to see the true person that hides inside.

  Tony Giuliano : Let me guess: you sleep with stuffed animals, right?

  Christine Sullivan : [shifts]  I don't see what that has to do with anything.