- Judge Harry T. Stone: Hey, gang, how goes the world?
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: [Reading a tabloid aloud] "Enraged housewife shoots husband's pig in bizarre love triangle."
- Dan Fielding: Caught him bringing home the bacon, huh?
- [last lines]
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: [deadpan] Quite a day today.
- Mac Robinson: [deadpan] Yep, quite a day. Almost had a wedding here.
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: Yep, almost. But we didn't.
- [They stand impassively for a few seconds, then give each other five and make Harry's "crazy face" at each other]
- Christine Sullivan: You know all your life you think love is gonna be this flash of passion and romance; it hits you over the head like a sledgehammer, but it's not like that. It's calm and quiet and it-it builds up slowly over time.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Kinda like plaque.
- Christine Sullivan: Oh, God... I'm going to be sick!
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: [pops open Dan's briefcase] Here, use this!
- Dan Fielding: No, don't, that's my brief-
- [turns away as Christine hurls into it]
- Dan Fielding: CASE!
- [Christine rushes away, mortified, while Roz closes the briefcase]
- Dan Fielding: That briefcase cost me over two hundred dollars!
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: I can believe it. It's not leaking at all.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: So, what brings you around?
- Christine Sullivan: [Standing next to Bill] Oh, not much. We just wanted to announce we're getting married. That's all.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [Stunned] Married?
- [Turns to everyone at the table]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Can you top that?
- Rosalind 'Roz' Russell: [Reading a tabloid aloud] "Bigfoot reveals miracle diet plan."
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Close.