- Harry Stern: Honestly, the trouble with some people, is they just don't know what they're doing, do they?
- Harry Stern: [Harry puts on an American accent when he sees Dawn's spider shaped birthday cake] Good grief Janice, they're taking over the world! But do not worry, I shall save you. I shall use with my cosmic weapon!
- Dawn Lodge: Harry, It's David Taylor's birthday cake, you know it is!
- Harry Stern: That's the funniest looking elephant I ever seen. I thought you were gonna make him an elephant?
- Dawn Lodge: I wouldn't have got it in the oven, now would I, Harry?
- Harry Stern: You could have done a baby one or something.
- Dawn Lodge: Say after me.
- Harry Stern: After me.
- Dawn Lodge: Shh! I solemny swear...
- Harry Stern: I solemny swear...
- Dawn Lodge: ...On the Encyclopedia of British Wildlife...
- Harry Stern: ...On the Encyclopedia of British Wildlife...
- Dawn Lodge: ...that I will not...
- Harry Stern: ...that I will not...
- Dawn Lodge: ...unbalance David Taylor's very special spider cake...
- Harry Stern: ...unbalance David Taylor's very very special birthday spider cake...
- Dawn Lodge: ...by knicking one of it's legs.
- Harry Stern: ...by knicking one of it's legs.
- Hazel Edwards: I'm sure I didn't imagine it, Martin, I mean, I just started to retile our bathroom, and the whole wall shook!
- Martin Edwards: Yes, it was very loud, wasn't it? I thought perhaps it might be that big bang I've been reading about in the Financial Times?
- Kim: There's been a terrible accident, Neil is having a bath in the lounge and he's hanging from the ceiling and, well if anything happens, like another vibration or if the band starts playing, the noise could... Oh! the band!
- [runs off]
- Kim: Oh!
- Hazel Edwards: Have I got this right Martin? The ceiling's collapsed, there's water everywhere, and Neil's having a bath in the lounge?
- Martin Edwards: That's right dear, it's just another ordinary day
- [Curiosity Killed the Cat starts playing Just Another Ordinary Day]
- Harry Stern: [balancing precariously in the bathroom] Wait a minute, 'ere, you've been at my deodorant again, haven't ya?
- Neil: What?
- Harry Stern: Well, Me 'Rampart Man' and me 'Old Scrum' and me 'Eau de Toilet de Biceps', it's gone!
- Neil: What are you talking about?
- Harry Stern: It's moved!
- Harry Stern: Of course it's moved, the whole room's moved!
- Harry Stern: [hanging in the bath] Oh no, no, no! It's horrible, it's too horrible to think about! Me Rampart Man has fallen through the hole!
- Martin Edwards: [picking up a bottle in the lounge, directly underneath the broken bathroom floor] Ah, Rampart Man!
- Martin Edwards: [Martin is standing under a burst waterpipe] How wonderful to have a shower in every room!
- Hazel Edwards: I think it could collapse at any second!
- Martin Edwards: It's just my temperature, too.
- Dawn Lodge: Neil, what going on?
- Neil: Eh, look, look, look I, I think you'd better, better take a look in the bathroom.
- [leads her through a door]
- Dawn Lodge: But this is the lounge?
- Samantha Tellybug: I spy, with my little sensor, something beginning with UFO.
- Harry Stern: Nah, there's no such thing as a UFO.
- Samantha Tellybug: There is too, Harry, and there's one over the house now.
- Harry Stern: I think it's about time for the Duster Muster. At least nothing could go wrong with that, could it?
- Martin Edwards: [Martin has driven Dawn's van through the front door] I never liked that door very much anyway, really.
- Kim: Oh! What's happened to the front door?
- Neil: What's happened to my balloons?
- Hazel Edwards: What's happened to my husband?