The Odd Couple (TV Series)

Cleanliness is Next to Impossible (1974)

Shirley Mitchell: Receptionist

Quotes 

• Dr. Bates : [Felix and Oscar are sitting in a psychiatrist's waiting room]  Could you make me another cup of coffee? This coffee is too sweet.

  Receptionist : Well, I made it the way I always do.

  Dr. Bates : I know... but it's too sweet. It's ALWAYS too sweet.

  Receptionist : Well, if you don't like the way I make the coffee, why don't you make it yourself?

  Dr. Bates : I don't make it myself because it's not my JOB to make it myself. I already have a job.

  [Pulls diploma off wall] 

  Dr. Bates : See? I'm a doctor.

  Receptionist : Well, I have a job, too. I have to type.

  Dr. Bates : Let me show you what I think of your typing.

  [Pulls paper out of typewriter, crumples it] 

  Receptionist : Let me show YOU what I think of your diploma.

  [Takes diploma from doctor, drops it in wastebasket] 

  Dr. Bates : [Quietly seething]  You... walk funny.

  Receptionist : YOU... are BALD.

  [Doctor feebly strokes bald spot on head a few times, retreats from office, head down] 

  Receptionist : The doctor will see you now.

  [Felix nods to Oscar, they both bolt from office]