Only Fools and Horses (TV Series)
The Yellow Peril (1982)
David Jason: Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter
Photos
Quotes
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Del Boy : [Del and Rodney are sitting on a bench near their mother's grave] It's quiet here.
Rodney : [half asleep, not really listening] Yeah...
Del Boy : Peaceful.
Rodney : Yeah...
Del Boy : You're decorating the kitchen of a Chinese takeaway tomorrow.
Rodney : Yeah...
Del Boy : The sun is shining, the birds are singing...
Rodney : [waking up somewhat] What was that?
Del Boy : The sun is shining and the birds are singing?
Rodney : No, before that.
Del Boy : Everything's quiet and peaceful?
Rodney : No, Del, in between everything being quiet and peaceful and the sun shining and the birds singing, you mentioned something about a Chinese takeaway!
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Grandad : [Rodney is furious after finding out the paint used on a decorating job was hooky] Tunnels?
Del Boy : What?
Rodney : No, he said that.
Grandad : Trigger said this was for painting signs used in tunnels. Well, how can you see a sign in a tunnel? It's dark, innit?
Trigger : No, it's alright, this is luminous paint.
Del Boy : Exactly, Grandad, it's luminous paint and that means you can see in the - LUMINOUS?
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Rodney : [last lines of the episode; the Trotters have just discovered that Del unknowingly painted their mother's gravestone with luminous paint] Do you realise that our mum's grave is going to become a beacon for every Satanist and acid-head in England? There's gonna be white witches dancing around that on a full moon. There's gonna be chicken's blood everywhere!
Grandad : What worries me is that it's on the main flight path to Heathrow.
Del Boy : I wish you two could see yourselves. Here's mum and her monument, the third coat's hardly dry, and you're already quivering in your shoes. Well, I'll tell you this much. I don't regret that I did it. And I will not bow my head to any snotty-nosed town hall clerks and their narrow-minded rules. I shall look them straight in the face, and say that I am the man who's responsible, and that I'm proud of it!
[takes another look at the grave, then has second thoughts]
Del Boy : We'll put it down to vandals. Let's get out of here before we get our collars felt.