- Del Boy: [Del and Rodney are sitting on a bench near their mother's grave] It's quiet here.
- Rodney: [half asleep, not really listening] Yeah...
- Del Boy: Peaceful.
- Rodney: Yeah...
- Del Boy: You're decorating the kitchen of a Chinese takeaway tomorrow.
- Rodney: Yeah...
- Del Boy: The sun is shining, the birds are singing...
- Rodney: [waking up somewhat] What was that?
- Del Boy: The sun is shining and the birds are singing?
- Rodney: No, before that.
- Del Boy: Everything's quiet and peaceful?
- Rodney: No, Del, in between everything being quiet and peaceful and the sun shining and the birds singing, you mentioned something about a Chinese takeaway!
- Grandad: [Rodney is furious after finding out the paint used on a decorating job was hooky] Tunnels?
- Del Boy: What?
- Rodney: No, he said that.
- Grandad: Trigger said this was for painting signs used in tunnels. Well, how can you see a sign in a tunnel? It's dark, innit?
- Trigger: No, it's alright, this is luminous paint.
- Del Boy: Exactly, Grandad, it's luminous paint and that means you can see in the - LUMINOUS?
- Rodney: [last lines of the episode; the Trotters have just discovered that Del unknowingly painted their mother's gravestone with luminous paint] Do you realise that our mum's grave is going to become a beacon for every Satanist and acid-head in England? There's gonna be white witches dancing around that on a full moon. There's gonna be chicken's blood everywhere!
- Grandad: What worries me is that it's on the main flight path to Heathrow.
- Del Boy: I wish you two could see yourselves. Here's mum and her monument, the third coat's hardly dry, and you're already quivering in your shoes. Well, I'll tell you this much. I don't regret that I did it. And I will not bow my head to any snotty-nosed town hall clerks and their narrow-minded rules. I shall look them straight in the face, and say that I am the man who's responsible, and that I'm proud of it!
- [takes another look at the grave, then has second thoughts]
- Del Boy: We'll put it down to vandals. Let's get out of here before we get our collars felt.