- Captain Hastings: Miss Lemon says he makes pies.
- Hercule Poirot: Makes pies! Hastings, to say that Benedict Farley makes pies is like saying that... Wagner wrote semi-quavers.
- Captain Hastings: Oh, they're good pies, are they?
- Hercule Poirot: No, horrible. But there are a great many of them.
- [last lines]
- Hercule Poirot: Hastings, there are two reasons why I should never become the millionaire.
- Captain Hastings: What are they, Poirot?
- Hercule Poirot: The first: that I should never make the detestable pork pies, hein? And the second: I am too understanding towards my employees.
- Captain Hastings: Quite.
- Captain Hastings: Useful, eh, living above the shop? I suppose from here, Farley likes to keep an eye on his employees.
- Hercule Poirot: No doubt. But it is a pity that such diligence does not improve the quality of his so-called delectables.
- [first lines]
- Newsreel Voice: British pies are famous the world over, and last year Farley's Foods produced five million of 'em. Everything from steak and kidney to Cornish pasty. But that's not enough for old man Farley; he wants to double the score. Work's been pushing ahead on the new extension to his factory, and this week the great day dawns.
- Hercule Poirot: Hastings, to say that Benedict Farley make spies is like saying that Wagner wrote semiquavers.
- Captain Hastings: Well, they're good pies, then?
- Hercule Poirot: No. Horrible! But there are a great many of them.
- Hercule Poirot: Ah, I see. So, when Hercule Poirot is concerned, there arises immediately a suspicion of murder?
- Chief Inspector Japp: Precisely.
- Captain Hastings: This is not like you, Poirot.
- Hercule Poirot: But this is not like the grey cells, Hastings. I have given them every chance. They have been closeted. I have slept to allow them to do their work. I have eaten fish for breakfast. Result? Nothing!
- Captain Hastings: It'll come, Poirot. The little grey cells have never let you down yet.
- Hercule Poirot: Ah, but is this not an indication, perhaps, of what is in store? A sign that they are weakened by old age and the fast living?
- Captain Hastings: Fast living, Poirot? I wouldn't call your life exactly fast.
- Hercule Poirot: Oh, not now, perhaps, Hastings, but in my youth.
- Captain Hastings: Really?
- Hercule Poirot: Umm.
- [Shakes his head]
- Captain Hastings: Really?
- Hercule Poirot: See, one pays, Hastings. Eventually, one is called to settle one's account.
- Captain Hastings: I say.
- Hercule Poirot: I shall have another tisane.
- Miss Lemon: Mr. Poirot, I... what is it, Mr. Poirot?
- Hercule Poirot: Another tisane if you please, Miss Lemon.
- Miss Lemon: Oh dear, you had your 9-o'clock-one.
- Hercule Poirot: Ah, serious measures are called for, Miss Lemon.