- Brooke McQueen: Look. We both know that this thing with our parents is never gonna last.
- Sam McPherson: Yeah, you got that right.
- Brooke McQueen: Because my Dad is gonna wake up and come to his senses.
- Sam McPherson: Interesting. That would imply that my mother is not good enough for him, is that it?
- Brooke McQueen: Sam, I don't know anything about your mother. Except for the fact that she moves fast.
- Sam McPherson: Excuse me, but your lounge lizard father is the one who booked this last-minute trip on the lust boat.
- Brooke McQueen: [sighs] Failing your anger management class, Sam? That's probably because you don't like your life very much and you wish you had a better one. Your Mom probably feels like she needs two parents to control you. I sympathize.
- Sam McPherson: You know what? Someone should throw a telethon. The profits of which would be used to restore your humanity.
- Brooke McQueen: [unperturbed] I'm cooking dinner on Thursday night. Is there anything special I can whip up for you? Eye of newt, perhaps?
- Sam McPherson: You know what? Anything Barbie whips up on her Easy-Bake oven would be just delicious.
- Brooke McQueen: I guess they really love each other.
- Sam McPherson: [softly] Yeah.
- Brooke McQueen: [softly] Yeah.
- Sam McPherson: And then there's you and me.
- Brooke McQueen: Two people who really don't like each other at all.
- Sam McPherson: Well, this ought to be interesting.
- Brooke McQueen: Very.
- [backs off, turning away]