Primetime Glick (TV Series)

Dennis Miller/Jerry Seinfeld (2001)

Jerry Seinfeld: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jiminy Glick : [interviewing Jerry Seinfeld]  And one night, we got together watched your special. You kept on going,

  [imitating Jerry] 

  Jiminy Glick : "Why... do people..."

  [normal voice] 

  Jiminy Glick : And I can't remember anything else. But the phrasing was very unique.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Right.

  Jiminy Glick : And some people would say, "Boy, he seems kind of bland and there's a nothingness there", but I don't feel that. I feel that there's a wisdom to you. Just 'cause the eyes are so dull doesn't mean that there's not a machinery of wheels clicking away.

• Jiminy Glick : You know Cesar Romero?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Sure. He played the Joker in "Batman", the TV series.

  Jiminy Glick : No, I don't mean as a fan, dear. I mean, did you get to hang out with him, play pinochle?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Well no, he's... I was twelve, he was seventy. So, we didn't, we didn't cross paths.

  Jiminy Glick : Who don't you like in show- who, who are you fed up with?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I- I don't really have anybody...

  Jiminy Glick : Delta Burke?

  Jerry Seinfeld : ...I'm a little tired of her, yes.

  Jiminy Glick : I knew it! I should really be a clairvoyant.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I've never seen a shirt collar actually go up like that. I don't mean to get personal, but there's only two buttons of your shirt visible before the shirt goes in the pants. I mean, the distance from the top of your shirt to your belt is three inches.

  Jiminy Glick : I'll tell you why- it's pilates.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I know you've been on every diet.

  Jiminy Glick : And how have you kept the weight down?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I keep it down because I've been successful at doing what I wanted to do, because a lot of people that are in show business are frustrated, and the frustration leads to eating and deviant sexual behavior, which is...

  Jiminy Glick : What are you trying to say, Jerry Seinfeld?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I'm just saying, y'know, deviant is however you define it.

  Jiminy Glick : Are you implying that I am a deviant?

  Jerry Seinfeld : ...No. I know you've...

  Jiminy Glick : I have four boys. Four wonderful, strapping boys: Morgan, Mason, Matthew, and Modine.

  Jerry Seinfeld : And what is your wife's name?

  Jiminy Glick : Dixie.

  Jerry Seinfeld : And how many years have you been married?

  Jiminy Glick : Twenty-three years of lovin'. And she knows I'm someone who just needs it.

  Jerry Seinfeld : So you lie on top of her with this body?

  Jiminy Glick : Now wait a second, Jerry...

  Jerry Seinfeld : There's a person that will allow you to get on top of them and sweat, like I imagine you're doing now...

  Jiminy Glick : WHY do I have to put up with this?

  Jerry Seinfeld : ...For eight to eleven minutes...

  Jiminy Glick : Let's talk about...

  Jerry Seinfeld : ...At least four times?

  Jiminy Glick : Wait a second. Let's talk about you, if you're so wise. Are you saying you never had- went through a period when you sweated too much or you were 300 pounds overweight?

  Jerry Seinfeld : If I sweat, it's from exercise or because the weather is warm.

  Jiminy Glick : [tapping Jerry with his rolled-up paper]  Are these the wonderful little observations that you put in your show?

  Jerry Seinfeld : A blind man could make these observations. You're an overweight, frustrated, unsuccessful, stammering, stuttering, sweating, y'know, completely out of your element individual.

  Jiminy Glick : Aren't you kind.

  Jerry Seinfeld : And yet, you make it work.