Queer as Folk (TV Series)

Surprise! (2001)

Scott Lowell: Ted Schmidt

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Brian Kinney : Hey, see that guy?

  [points to an old man] 

  Brian Kinney : He just turned thirty. That's what you're gonna look like in a couple of days, Mikey.

  Emmett Honeycutt : Oh, don't listen to him. You look like you're ten.

  Brian Kinney : Yeah, but this strange thing happens on your thirtieth. You look great the night before, but then you wake up the next morning and your ass is down to there, and your dick disappears.

  Ted : Well, I'm thirty three, what does that make me!

  Brian Kinney : Did you guys just hear something, like a voice from the dead?

• Ted : ...Listen, I know there's a part of us that thinks we don't deserve to be loved...

  Michael : What are you talking about?

  Ted : Le-let me finish... so we fall in love with someone we know we can't have and who's never gonna love us. And we fantasize about the day when all of the sudden he realizes and sees everything he's been missing, and all our dreams come true. Only, you know, that day never comes and before you know it, it's your 40th birthday, it's your 50th birthday and... and you're still alone. Don't let that happen to you Michael. Love someone for real. Someone who loves you.

• Ted : [after getting the results from his A.I.D.S. test]  I'm negative... I'm negative.

  Melanie Marcus : That's okay. Happy people can be really annoying.

• [last lines] 

  Ted : He's cute. If you don't want him, I'll take him.

  Emmett Honeycutt : You can have him. I made a promise to God.

  Ted : A promise to God? What promise to God?

  Emmett Honeycutt : I prayed, and I told God that if I were negative, I would never have sex with another man. And I'm negative. So I can never touch a man again.

• Michael : [Talking about Justin]  What is he doin' here?

  Debbie Novotny : Isn't he adorable? The customers love him. His ass gets more compliments than the burgers.

  Ted : At least his buns are fresh.

• Melanie Marcus : I feel like she's shutting me out. I just die how long I can take it.

  Ted : Look, I don't wanna hear this.

  Melanie Marcus : Why can't I share?

  Ted : Because the minute you start telling your friends your relationship problems, it's the beginning of the end. Find a shrink!

  Melanie Marcus : I've been in therapy for six years.

  Ted : Are you covered by insurance?

  Melanie Marcus : Yep.

  Ted : Great! Then have a breakdown. You can afford it.