Queer as Folk (TV Series)
Ted's Not Dead (2000)
Scott Lowell: Ted Schmidt
Photos
Quotes
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Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : I saw you.... Fucking. When I woke up. I thought: ...I'm in hell. And this is my punishment. - Watching Brian Kinney fucking for all eternity.
Brian Kinney : [Brian puts his arm around Ted's shoulder] You should be so lucky. Why me? Why did you choose me?
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : My mother couldn't do it. Michael and Emmett couldn't do it. But you could..., because you're a heartless shit. You could pull the plug and you wouldn't cry. And you'd know when it's time to go.
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Mrs. Schmidt : Are you sure I can't help?
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : I can do it. It's no big deal.
Mrs. Schmidt : I wish you'd let me drive you home.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Ah... I already asked my friends.
Mrs. Schmidt : Michael, Emmett... Brian. I met them while you were... asleep.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Oh.
Mrs. Schmidt : They're very nice. Especially Michael.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Yeah, Michael is... especially special.
Mrs. Schmidt : Are you two...? I mean...
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Oh, no. No. We, ah... He's just a friend.
Mrs. Schmidt : Well, he's a very good friend. He was very kind to me. I'm grateful you have him.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Yeah, so am I.
Mrs. Schmidt : Because more than anything, I worry that you're alone. That there's no one to look after you.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : I can take care of myself.
Mrs. Schmidt : Oh, I know you can. You've always been self-sufficient. I just... I wish you had someone to love you. And if you did, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Mom, please, let's uh...
Mrs. Schmidt : I'm sorry. I know that it embarrasses you if I talk too much or I get too emotional. But I can't help thinking that, if you haven't woken up, and I would have never gotten a chance to let you know, how proud I am that you're my son. And that... it doesn't matter to me what you are. Yeah I got over that a long time ago. And that whenever you're feeling alone, or that no one loves you; it's not true. Because I do!
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : [long pause] Thank you, Mom for eh... for saying that.
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Michael Novotny : Okay, just so you don't freak out... Your dildos are missing. And your porn. We had to move it all... in case your Mom found it.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Well, I expect all thirty-three back.
[to Emmett and Brian]
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Cleaned.
Emmett Honeycutt : You should eat something, honey.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : I'm not hungry.
Michael Novotny : We bought you a whole fucking chicken!
Brian Kinney : And you're gonna eat it.
Emmett Honeycutt : [to Brian] Oh, my God. Look at this. Who keeps lube in their front kitchen cabinet?
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Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : It always looks so much smaller.
Michael Novotny : What does?
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Your life. Especially after returning from a near-death experience.
Michael Novotny : Like watching the Oscars.
[lowering his voice]
Michael Novotny : Immediately proceeded by...
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt , Michael Novotny : "The Barbara Walter's Special!".
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : I'm glad you're here.
Michael Novotny : You are? Well, ah... I... uhm...
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : What?
Michael Novotny : I'm... ah... I'm glad you're here too.
[Ted smiles.]
Michael Novotny : And if you ever wanna talk about this..., or other stuff...
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Other stuff?
Michael Novotny : You know, if there's some... You know, something you can't talk about.
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt : Like what?
Michael Novotny : I don't know. You know, maybe if you talk about it, it might help it? But, you, ah, you might not get what you want. But... Oh, shit!
Brian Kinney : [interrupting the conversation] Are you going to come eat the chicken?
Michael Novotny : ... I'm gonna arrange the daisies.