- Nurse: Look, Miss, or whatever you are... I believe it was already explained to you that only the child's parents or legal guardian's are permitted to be with him.
- Melanie Marcus: And I believe it needs to be explained to you, that I'm the one who loves him, feeds him and walks him, and plays with him, and changes him, and cleans up his shit and wipes up his vomit... and pays the bills, and you listen to me. I stay up half the night worrying that he will grow up to be happy and healthy and loved. So don't you dare tell me I have no right to be with him, you officious, homophobic cunt.
- Ted Schmidt: [talking about Cyber Sex] Jesus, I think I did it with you, just last week.
- Emmett Honeycutt: Eww! How was I?"
- Ted Schmidt: Did you ever consider just telling him the truth?
- Emmett Honeycutt: What? That I'm a big, nelly bottom who wishes he were a beefy, brutal top... and never will be.
- Brian Kinney: Not even six months old, and my kid's already a drama queen.
- Ted Schmidt: Well, at least you know he's yours.
- Brian Kinney: [to Justin] Your father's an asshole who treats you like shit. He practically killed me. I say forget about him.
- Ted Schmidt: Then we'd better get busy. Right, Professor Higgins?
- Emmett Honeycutt: Right, Pickering! We'll turn you from a simple flower girl into a lady!
- Brian Kinney: [to Justin] I'll tell him the truth: "These two dykes I knew wanted a kid really bad, so I jerked off into a cup".
- [last lines]
- Michael: Look, I wanted to talk to you about...
- Dr. David Cameron: I wanna...
- Michael: You... You first.
- Dr. David Cameron: Go, go.
- Michael: Look, I know I disappointed you.
- Dr. David Cameron: No, I let you down.
- Michael: I'm an idiot and I...
- Dr. David Cameron: I'm a jerk. I was insensitive. I should've been more sensitive.
- Michael: I don't really fit in with your friends. I don't know if I ever will.
- Dr. David Cameron: When two live in two separate places...
- Michael: We're from two totally different worlds.
- Dr. David Cameron: There's only one thing that we should do.
- Michael: I know, I agree.
- Dr. David Cameron: There's no other choice.
- Michael: So, this is it. It's over.
- Dr. David Cameron: Over? What's over? I want you to move in with me.
- Michael: David's throwing a diner party, us and two other couples, one of them are straight.
- Brian Kinney: He eats with straight people?
- Ted Schmidt: Ick. You never know where their hands have been.