- Officer Willie Gillis: [Officers Willie Gillis and Terry Webster walk into the precinct locker room to change out of their uniforms. They are discussing Lt Ryker's guest appearance on a TV talk show for later that day. They are unaware that there is a police impostor hiding on the other side of the room, who is listening to their conversation] C'mon, let's hustle. Can't miss this - the show goes on soon.
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry and Willie open their lockers and start undressing] How much time do we have?
- Officer Willie Gillis: Well, the show goes on at 11:30, but Ryker isn't the first guest. So as long as we get there by 12 or so, we ought to catch him.
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry, loosening his uniform tie, starts speaking in a deep, theatrical voice] Ryker and the dude... a star is born!
- Officer Willie Gillis: [Willie removes his uniform tie and shirt] Yeah. Hey, when you go on television, don't you have to wear makeup or something?
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry removes his uniform shirt also] That's what I hear. I sure wouldn't like to be that guy who comes after Ryker with a powder puff. Read him his rights...
- [Terry resumes speaking in a deep theatrical voice. He starts gesturing, pointing with his right hand to emphasize what he's saying]
- Officer Terry Webster: You have the right to remain silent, but you do not, do not have the right to come after me with that powder puff!
- Officer Willie Gillis: [the camera pans in on the impostor; Willie's voice is heard] I think I'll rib him about it tomorrow.
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry is finishing putting on his shirt; Willie is already dressed] Ah, it's sad to see such suicidal thoughts in the very young.
- Officer Willie Gillis: [Willie closed his locker door] Well, he can't get mad at me for putting him on a little, can he?
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry resumes speaking in his theatrical voice] He can, and will!
- [Terry and Willie leave the locker room]
- Officer Mike Danko: [Officers Mike Danko, Terry Webster and Willie Gillis are in the precinct locker room, changing into their uniforms. They are discussing Lt Ryker's interview on the TV talk show] I think Ryker handled himself pretty well last night.
- Officer Willie Gillis: [Willie is searching thru his locker for his handcuffs, but doesn't see them. He turns to Terry] Hey, uh,Terry, have you seen my handcuffs anywhere?
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry is adjusting his tie] Probably in your belt, Officer Gillis, that's where they're usually attached.
- [Terry is now buttoning his shirt sleeve cuffs; he walks over toward Mike]
- Officer Terry Webster: What did Jill think?
- Officer Mike Danko: [Mike answers Terry's question about Lt Ryker's interview] She dug it.
- Officer Willie Gillis: [Willie is agitated over his missing handcuffs; he calls out to the room in general] Hey, has anyone seen my handcuffs?
- [Terry passes behind Willie and runs his hands over Willie's gun belt]
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry is amused at Willie's plight and, in mock-seriousness, replies] You know, there are mornings with you, times that I'm not really sure we're police officers. Members of the seven dwarfs maybe but not police...
- Officer Mike Danko: [Mike is adjusting his gun belt and calls across the room to Willie and Terry] Hey, is it true that Lt Monroe is riding with you two today?
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry is putting on his tie clip as he walks toward Mike. He answers in a mock-serious voice] Unfortunately, yes, Ryker was so gung-ho last night that Monroe said it's something Internal Affairs should look into. So he asked to go on our patrol to see how we interact with the community.
- [Terry puts on his gun belt]
- Officer Willie Gillis: And we're the lucky interactors he chose.
- [Willie is staring into his locker in disbelief. He doesn't see his hat inside]
- Officer Willie Gillis: Oh, come on, you're kidding!
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry looks over at Willie] What's missing now?
- Officer Willie Gillis: My hat.
- Officer Terry Webster: [Terry looks at Mike, amused. He's enjoying this dialogue at Willie's expense] His hat. It's not hard to figure out which of the dwarfs he is.
- Officer Willie Gillis: [Willie is putting on his tie and looking into his locker] No, really, my hat's gone; it's not here.
- Officer Mike Danko: [Mike reaches into his locker and pulls out a uniform hat and hands it to Willie] Here, you can take my spare. You can check with the custodian in the morning. C'mon, we're late.
- [They leave the locker room in a hurry]