- Darlene: Everybody's looking at me going 'oh *Darlene* is getting married?' '*Darlene* is having a baby?' I mean hell, even I said it.
- Darlene: With summer school I'll still graduate on time, and the baby will be covered by David's medical insurance and I just put in for a copyright job I can do part time from home.
- Roseanne Conner: Well... it sounds like you're way more prepared than I ever was.
- Roseanne Conner: She's still gonna make it, Dan. She'll just have big bags under her eyes and Cheerios in her hair.
- Roseanne Conner: Not only are we gonna have a grandchild who is roughly the same age as our own child, but our daughter is marrying the boy we considered to be our son. I think that means that we are now officially the white-trashiest family in all the land
- Dan Conner: Yee haw.
- David Healy: I'm ok, I guess... It's kind of interesting having all your life's major changes happen all in one day.
- Roseanne: Yeah, I think I can pretty much relate to that... I remember this- one Tuesday they cancelled Cardsharks, and, uhm, they introduced the chocolate chip cookie dough icecream the very same day. Wow!