D.J.: [returning from a party] I'm home!
Dan: [on the couch with Roseanne] Hey, Deej, come here and tell us all about the party.
D.J.: Thanks for making me go. It was great.
Roseanne: Yeah? Come here and sit down. Tell us about all the kind of games and fun things you guys did.
D.J.: [sitting down between them on the couch] I touched a boob.
[stunned silence]
Dan: Say what?
D.J.: We played this game, Seven Minutes in Heaven. And I had to go in the closet with Sheila Frye. And we just stood there doing nothing for, like, six minutes.
Dan: What happened in that last minute, son?
D.J.: I told you. I touched a boob. She's my girlfriend now. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow night. She likes corn.
[goes upstairs]
Dan: [Roseanne covers her face with her hands, country accent] Wheeeeewwww doggies, I'm gonna have to have a long talk with that boy.