Roseanne (TV Series)

Deliverance (1992)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Quotes 

• Roseanne : [after Dan comes back from "fixing" Crystal's thermostat]  You just replaced that thermostat!

  Dan : Well apparently the house is still either too hot or too cold.

  Roseanne : Well, yeah, because she's eight months pregnant and she keeps on having hot and cold flashes.

  Dan : You know, I suggested that, but she assured me that wasn't the case. Then she kicked me.

  Jackie : You're kidding!

  Dan : Then she started cryin'... and there was no way I could kick her back.

• Dan : [in the kitchen at dinner time]  Where's Darlene?

  Roseanne : Oh, well, her and David had a little tiff, so she's up in her room.

  Dan : What's he doing here?

  Roseanne : Well, I'd already invited him, and then when she said it was either her or him, I flipped the coin until he won.

• Crystal : [in labor]  This better be a girl! It better be a girl!

  Dan : Oh, come on Crystal. If it's a boy, you'll love it just as much.

  Crystal : The hell I will!

• Dan : [after Crystal asks him to videotape the birth]  I don't wanna look, Crystal, and you can't make me!