Quotes
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Dan Conner : I can't believe you're jealous over this.
Roseanne : Why not? It's very typical of me.
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Dan Conner : So don't take it, they can't fire you if you refuse.
Roseanne : Of course they can, Dan, they just wouldn't say that that was why. They'd just say that I was always late or rude to the customers or something like that.
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Dan Conner : Tell you what, next time one of the kids has a problem, I'll send them right to you.
Roseanne : This is a problem I *wanted*.
Dan Conner : DJ! Let's go! What took so long?
D.J. Conner : [holds up jock strap] I have to wear this for gym today but I don't know how to put it on.
Dan Conner : Sounds like a problem.
[beaming at Roseanne]
Dan Conner : You want to take this one?
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Darlene Conner : I need a guy's opinion about something.
Dan Conner : Okay, I'll be the guy.
Darlene Conner : Alright, uh, lets say that you were real good friends with this girl and you made a move on her and she turned you down.
Dan Conner : Why then I'd applaud her high moral standards.
Darlene Conner : That's a dad opinion. I need a guy opinion, an honest one.
Dan Conner : Then I'd run and tell all my buddies I scored.
