Roseanne (TV Series)

Nine Is Enough (1994)

Laurie Metcalf: Jackie Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jackie Harris : [to Dan]  You shave your pits? Is that true?

  Mark : Of course it's not true!

  [quietly to Dan] 

  Mark : It isn't true, is it?

  D.J. Conner : Cool, when can I shave my pits?

• Fred : [When Jackie has Andy sleep in the bed with her and Fred]  This is crazy. With the baby in here, I haven't had one decent night's sleep since he was born.

  Jackie Harris : Fine. Well, we'll just put him up for adoption then because Lord knows you need your sleep.

• Jackie Harris : [to Andy over the baby monitor where Fred hears it]  There, there, baby, it's okay. Someday, your real daddy will come home from the sea.

• Jackie Harris : [When Jackie and Andy show up at the Conner house]  Fred and I had a huge fight this morning, so I brought the baby over here to teach Fred a lesson.

  Roseanne : Jackie, don't you know anything? If you want to make the man suffer, you stay, you don't leave.

• Roseanne : You know, Jackie, your kids grow up and they just fly the nest, and then all you got left is your husband. You have to learn to let go.

  Jackie Harris : Well, my baby is six months old. What's your excuse?

  Roseanne : What?

  Jackie Harris : Look around. Kids are all still living here at the house with their husbands and their boyfriends and me. Wonder what Dan thinks about that, but, gee! I don't see him anywhere!

  [leaves the living room carrying Andy] 

  Roseanne : Well, it's a wonder you can see anything over your kid's big misshapen head!