Quotes
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Mark Healy : [drunk as a skunk, at the Lobo, and being picked up by Dan] You're okay Dan. You're my man. My man Dan. Dan the man. Dan, Dan, the Dan Man. Okay, now you do one with, ah, my name.
Dan : How 'bout this. Mark, Mark, you puke in my truck and I'll kill ya.
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Dan : [sitting at the kitchen table with his poker buddies, talking to Becky and Darlene] Hey, pizza sounds great! You guys up for a pizza?
[poker buddies give a collective, "Yeah!", "Great!"]
Dan : [to Becky and Darlene] You guys go on back upstairs, and I'll... I'll order it, and I'll call you when it gets here.
Darlene : [to Becky] Oh, right. By the time he calls us, all that will be left is what's stuck to their shirts.
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Dan : [about wives] Well, they lie to us too. Last year Roseanne smashed up the front of my truck, and swore it happened while it was parked at the mall.
Ray : Oh, that's an old one.
Arnie Thomas : Man, did you call her on it, Dan.
Dan : What, and waste all that guilt? To this day, when I mention how good my truck used to look, I get chocolate cake for dessert. If I squeeze out a couple of tears...
Dan : [finger snap, snap] Cool Whip.
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Dan : [after Mark calls Dan a friend for not telling Becky that he got drunk] Let me correct a few points here. I am Becky's father. By definition, therefore, not your friend. Secondly, I am your boss, which still makes me, not your friend. So in my official capacity as 'not your friend', let me tell you how it's gonna be here from now on. I ever catch you under the influence again, not only are you finished with Becky, you're out of a job.
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Dan : I picked up the tab for those stitches.
Mark Healy : I'll pay you back.
Dan : Yes, you will. But until then, I own them... which means I can rip them out any time I want.
