Roseanne (TV Series)

The Parenting Trap (1994)

Michael O'Keefe: Fred

Quotes 

• Fred : [about ways he concealed an involuntary erection during puberty]  I always found that nobody was any-the-wiser, if I just kept my shirt untucked.

  Dan Conner : [thoughtfully]  I occasionally employed that device myself. Usually, however, I took the more scholarly approach: put a book in front of it.

  Fred : Yeah, a book was good. If you didn't have a book, you just had to stick your hands in your pockets.

  Mark Healy : [chuckles]  Well, that's usually how mine started.

• Fred : [about puberty erections]  You know, back at that age, it didn't even have much to do with girls. Damn thing would just pop up and say "howdy-do" for any reason.

  Dan Conner : You know what usually set me off, was the vibrations on the school bus. All through junior-high, I dreamed of being a bus driver.