Roseanne (TV Series)

Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down (1991)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan : [as Deadger Bergen and his dummy, Mortuary Snerd, singing]  Well I come from six feet under with a dead guy on my knee, I'm heading down to Hades for to spend eternity.

  Roseanne : [singing]  Hey there, Deadger, I think it's plain to see, we bought a cardboard casket and the worms have eaten me.

• Roseanne : [walks into the kitchen and sees Dan disemboweled, turns around and Roseanne corners her with a knife]  What is it, Kathy? I've had a really bad day and now I've got to clean up all of this. You know, I don't know how many times I keep telling myself, it's just like gutting a fish. I swear I was much better with Becky's dad.

  Kathy Bowman : Becky's dad?

  Roseanne : Yeah, he was blonde too. Oh hey I know, you've got a garbage disposal, don't you?

  Kathy Bowman : [cringing]  Oh my God... I have to go home.

  Roseanne : Oh no, you can't go, Kathy, you'll tell.

  Kathy Bowman : [backing up]  No I won't, I promise, please let me go!

  [backs into Dan who's standing behind her, turns around] 

  Dan : Liver?

  [Kathy screams and runs for the door] 

  Roseanne : Happy Halloween!

  Kathy Bowman : [in shock]  That was horrible! Horrible!

• Dan : You've made your mother and me very happy. Now get rid of the snakes.

  D.J. Conner : I'll do it.

  Darlene Conner : D.J., don't touch those snakes. I'm not untying them again.

• Jerry Bowman : [talking about a Halloween prank Dan and Roseanne pulled on Kathy earlier]  Oh boy, I gotta tell you Dan, Kathy was so mad about that, she didn't say a word to me all day.

  Dan : Well I guess you owe me a beer, Jer.

  Jerry Bowman : [chuckling]  Yea, I guess I do.

• Dan : [talking about their scaring Kathy]  Damn good bladder control though.

  Roseanne : Why thank you, I did laugh pretty hard.

• Roseanne : Our children remembered us on our favorite holiday.

  Dan : God bless us one and all.

• Roseanne : You know, Dan, I think we should've rehearsed our act more, I don't think they got that we were supposed to be dead.

  Dan : [as Deadger Bergen]  Well Morty, if it's any consolation, I'm sure they wish we were.

• Dan : [as Deadger Bergen]  Well Morty, here we are.

  Roseanne : [as Mortuary Snerd]  Is this hell?

  Dan : [laughs]  No Morty, this is Lanford.

  Roseanne : Say, isn't that Arnie? I thought I told you to go to hell.