- Dan Rowan: Hey, Goldie, did you hear about the Supreme Court? They banned pornography.
- Goldie Hawn: Oh, I didn't even know they had a band.
- Garry Moore: I remember that wonderful year, 1863. That's the year Abraham Lincoln THOUGHT he freed the slaves.
- Dick Martin: You know, Eskimos have twenty-seven words for snow?
- Dan Rowan: Well, what else do they have to talk about?
- Alan Sues: I'm not a prejudiced person, but I say a Negro is still a Negro and a Jew is still a Jew, but for different reasons. Think about it.