- Tony Curtis: Goldie, did you hear that the picture Bob, Carol, Ted & Alice was so popular, that they're making a jungle version of it and they're gonna call it: Cheeta, Simba, Jane and Sabu.
- Goldie Hawn: No, I didn't hear that.
- Tony Curtis: [a beat] Well, I just told it to you.
- Goldie Hawn: Well now, that's where I just heard it. That's where I heard it.
- Tony Curtis: Oh, forget it, will ya?
- Alan Sues: Carol, my little cupcake. I hear there's a, there making a new movie about love life in a hippie commune.
- Carol Channing: Oh, well now, that's interesting, what are they gonna calling it?
- Alan Sues: They're gonna call it: Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & John & Barbara & Tim & Marcy & Steve & Stacy & Eugene & Gertrude... & Bruce
- Teresa Graves: My old man asked me if we could live together for a year and then find out, you know, whether we'd made a mistake or not. If we had, we'd split and go our separate ways. That's cool, what I wanna know is: who's gonna get custody of the mistake?
- Dan Rowan: Goldie, hey, I hear you're going to a sky-diving school. Right?
- Goldie Hawn: Right.
- Dan Rowan: How many successful jumps do you have to make to graduate?
- Goldie Hawn: All of them.
- Jo Anne Worley: Did you know that they're going to legalize homosexuality?
- Carol Channing: Oh, no! That means I'll have to take mine to get a licence, a collar and shots!
- Jo Anne Worley: Boris is so sentimental. He wanted a memento of our love, so he had the backseat of his car bronzed.
- Goldie Hawn: I know a girl who's so dumb, so doesn't know the difference between a six dollar bill and a real one.
- Pamela Rodgers: Well, I was supposed to do a nude love scene at the studio yesterday, but I just couldn't make it. Probably too many rehearsals.
- Stu Gilliam: Tyrone told me that the orchestra for the wedding was booked yesterday. But they should be released in time to play.