- Dan Rowan: Dick, a diamond is the hardest thing in the world.
- Dick Martin: No, no. The hardest thing in the world is to kiss a chicken on the lips.
- [audience laughter]
- Dan Rowan: Boy, you're the guy who would know, too!
- Dan Rowan: You're retiring?
- Dick Martin: Yes, the next time, eh, you and I come out here to talk to each other, you'll be all alone.
- Dan Rowan: You know, that I've felt like that for years?
- Dick Martin: Sure, sure, sweet talk me now that you know I'm a millionaire!
- Gladys Ormphby: Will you ever forget the night we met, at the Moulin Rouge?
- Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec: Ugh, I certainly hope so.
- Gladys Ormphby: Well, don't you remember? I was in the Can-Can.
- Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec: I remember, and I was in the lobby-lobby.
- Announcer: A number of people have written in asking why this program is pre-recorded. But because this program is pre-recorded, we haven't gotten any of those letters yet, so we can't answer them.