Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)

House of Pi's (2000)

Melissa Joan Hart: Sabrina Spellman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sabrina Spellman : And yet, most girls would do anything to join a sorority. Why would shallow people wanna connect so badly with shallow people?

  Roxie King : We'll ask Morgan next time we see her.

  Sabrina Spellman : You don't get it! Our story is: Sorority Girls, Society's Lost Souls.

  Roxie King : Pampered, pearled, pathetic. I like it.

  Sabrina Spellman : Thank you. Here's what I propose. We get the scoop by going undercover as sorority rushees.

  Roxie King : Me in a sweater set and pleated skirt? I can't think of anything more ridiculous.

• Sabrina Spellman : [to sorority rush contender, in quest to expose airheads]  So what are you looking forward to most about being a Mu Pi? Doing your toenails with the other girls, or highlighting each other's hair?

• Sabrina Spellman : [going in undercover, with a mini tape recorder to be hidden under her top]  Let's do a sound check.

  Roxie King : Testing, one, two, three.

  Sabrina Spellman : Four, five, six.

  Roxie King : [it works]  We're live.

  Sabrina Spellman : [slipping it in place]  Victoria's got a new secret.

  Roxie King : Let's split up.

  Sabrina Spellman : Roger that. But let's meet at the cinnamon snaps in an hour.

  Roxie King : Will you stop with the cinnamon snaps?

• Roxie King : Did you put in fresh batteries?

  Sabrina Spellman : Yeah, I'm packing two Ds. And believe me, that's the first time I've ever said that.

• Sabrina Spellman : I don't wanna write the story.

  Roxie King : What are you talking about?

  Sabrina Spellman : Well, a lot of people could get hurt or kicked out of college.

  Roxie King : I didn't hot-wire my bra so that you could back out at the last minute. This is journalism, you write the truth and let the chips fall where they may.

  Sabrina Spellman : But what if the chips destroy somebody?

  Roxie King : I think I'm beginning to understand who Sabrina Spellman is. You can't handle the truth!

  Sabrina Spellman : [conflicted]  I can handle the truth. I just can't handle the guilt.

• Sabrina Spellman : Roxie, we have to consider the ramifications. These girls could get thrown out of school. And their parents may never talk to them again. And then what's gonna happen to the kids? I mean, you saw Girl, Interrupted. Murder, mayhem, major box office disappointment.

  Roxie King : I'm sure there's a valid point in there somewhere.

• Roxie King : [Morgan took her snack]  You came home just to eat my breakfast?

  Morgan Cavanaugh : That, and I'm looking for someone to write my paper on Hemingway. What is there to say on a model-turned-actress?

  Sabrina Spellman : I'm pretty sure they meant Ernest.