- Don Evans: Mr. Sanford, I owe you my gratitude.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Still smarting from Lamont's chastising of him for renting out his room] Oh, you don't owe me nothing.
- Don Evans: I do. Last week, Lewella and I had a big fight, and I let her leave the house without stopping her. I was stupid for that. If it weren't for you, I have no idea what could have happened to her.
- Fred G. Sanford: Listen, I am the big biz whiz of Watts.
- Lamont Sanford: You're the big biz whiz of Watts, huh?
- Fred G. Sanford: Allow me to introduce myself: J. Paul Ghetto.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Muttering after a persistent door knocker cuts short Fred's hugging and kissing Donna] Just my kinda luck. Knockus interruptus.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Contesting Bubba's play in Scrabble] There's no such word as "gazinta"!
- Bubba Bexley: There is so. It's an arithmetic word.
- Fred G. Sanford: Gazinta?
- Bubba Bexley: Sure. Two gazinta four; four gazinta eight.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Raising fist] And five gazinta your lips!
- Nurse: [to the surly Fred Sanford] The last thing I need is a cranky old man who ought to sue Mother Nature for malpractice of the mouth.
- Louwella: [Fred asleep on couch, Louwella quickly descends the stairs] Mr. Sanford! Mr. Sanford, wake up! Wake up, Mr. Sanford, wake up! I think it's time.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Groggy] Yes, the Late Show! Turn it on, turn it on!
- Louwella: No, Mr. Sanford, I'm talking about my baby.
- Fred G. Sanford: Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Louwella: I can't help it. The pains are coming closer and closer together.
- Fred G. Sanford: [Staggering with a heart attack] Mine too! Oh! This might be the Big One!
- Donna Harris: [Last lines]
- [Reading a letter]
- Donna Harris: Will you look at this, Lamont. Don and Lewella have named Fred the Godfather of their baby. Hey, does he know about this, yet?
- Lamont Sanford: [after she asks that, Fred comes down dressed in a black suit, then hugs Lamont the way a mafia crime boss might hug an associate]
- [to Donna]
- Lamont Sanford: He knows.