- Fred Sanford: The last time I was in lover's lane was in St. Louis years ago. Just the three of us.
- Donna Harris: The three of you?
- Fred Sanford: Yeah. Me and the girl and the guy that mugged us.
- Lamont Sanford: What about your age, Pop? Now, who gets married at 65?
- Fred Sanford: You better read your Bible. Abraham got married when he was over 100, had six kids.
- Lamont Sanford: Yeah, Abraham had some help from the Lord.
- Fred Sanford: Well, I don't intend to have no six children, so I won't need as much help.
- Melvin: They really know how to make the horror movies, those Japanese. You know all those Godzilla movies? They was made in Japan.
- Lamont Sanford: I know that, Melvin. I ain't exactly stupid, y'know.
- Melvin: You know, I wish they'd do a Godzilla movie with a black man, don't you?