Sanford and Son (TV Series)

Whiplash (1972)

Demond Wilson: Lamont Sanford

Quotes 

• Fred G. Sanford : Did you ever try cruising through Beverly Hills?

  Lamont Sanford : No, but I can if I want to.

  Fred G. Sanford : Well, you do that, and you'll come away feeling like a cheap watch.

  Lamont Sanford : And just what is that supposed to mean?

  Fred G. Sanford : It means you'll be stopped every few seconds.

• Fred G. Sanford : You don't believe nothin'. Even when you was a kid, you didn't even believe in Santa Claus.

  Lamont Sanford : Well, you were the one that was responsible for that.

  Fred G. Sanford : Who, me?

  Lamont Sanford : Yes, you. You told me there was no Santa Claus.

  Fred G. Sanford : I ain't told you there was no Santa Claus. I said wouldn't no white man be coming 'round in our neighborhood wearing no red velvet suit at 12 o'clock.

• Lamont Sanford : [annoyed to learn Fred drove to the store to buy coffee]  He knows if I don't have a cup of coffee as soon as I get up my hands start to shake and my eyes get all blurry.

  Bubba Bexley : You know, that's funny. The same thing happens to me after I drink your father's coffee.

• Fred G. Sanford : [after Lamont calls Fred a phony]  I'm not fakin'! I really got a pain in the neck.

  Lamont Sanford : You have, huh?

  Fred G. Sanford : Yeah, and the more I talk to you it moves downward.

• Lamont Sanford : [skeptical of the smoking, coughing wreck of a man]  And you're a doctor?

  Dr. Caldwell : In some states.