Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines (1999)

Cheri Oteri: Various, Nadeen

Quotes 

• Customer #2 : [at the department store return desk]  You know what, I cannot believe that can't handle a simple shirt return! What are you going to do for the holidays?

  Nadine : Deck the halls, now!

  Roy, Return Desk Manager : Light Menorah, now!

  Roy, Return Desk Manager : [frustrated, Customer #2 walks off]  All right.

  [leaves] 

  Nadine : All rightie.

  Customer #3 : I'd like to return this.

  Nadine : Excuse me?

  Customer #3 : [shouting]  Take it back, now!

  Nadine : Roy... Roy?

  Roy, Return Desk Manager : Don't worry, I'm on it.

  [begins filling out paperwork] 

• Nadine : [Nadine is working the exchange desk at a department store]  Sir, what happens when you cook greens on a low heat?

  Customer #1 : You simmer them?

  Nadine : Opposite of up?

  Customer #2 : Down?

  Nadine : Now read this.

  [holds up a "Now and Later" candy bar but covers the last two words with her hand] 

  Customer #1 : Now?

  Nadine : [shouts]  Simma down now!