Scrubs (TV Series)

My Best Moment (2004)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Quotes 

• Dr. Perry Cox : Newbie, you never promise a patient that they're gonna be fine.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Mr Milligan? His blood pressure's little low, he just has mono.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Oh, for God's sakes, Newbie... take a look around, would you? Please... what's the difference between your Mr Milligan and every other patient in this ICU? And if the answer to that question is that he's the only one young enough to have never made a phone call like this: "Briing! Hallo? Operetah? Gimme Stuyvesant hohive-hohive-hohive", then you would be right. But since I'm not in the mood to make some big, dramatic, sweeping statement, I'll just tell you this: God hates doctors, He truly does. You see all these old people in here? Well, any of them'd give just about anything to be able to sashay off this planet, but most are gonna stay and live forever and ever and ever; and your Mr Milligan... well, it turns out he's just young enough to die. I mean, think about it... it's the holidays; there's a sweet little kid involved... can't you just feel it?

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Damn, his cultures are back, he's not septic.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Well, I'd start him on Dopamine.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Already done.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Well, I'd scan his head.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I already ordered it.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Well, I'd definitely give Mrs. Cross her teeth back.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [J.D. jerks at a cord around his neck, the dentures dangling from it]  That I will not do!

• Dr. Perry Cox : Uh, Carla. Carla, have you, uh, have you seen Newbie?

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Oh, he got off your leash?

  Dr. Perry Cox : [laughing]  Give me a break. The kid's like a... he's like a... . Have you ever seen a drunk baby?

  [She furrows her brow at him] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say that it turns out at first it's--it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls. But, man, you take your eyes off 'em for one second and --

  [whacks desk] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : BAM! -- they got a bucket on their head and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV. God save me, it was barely out of the box. The point is that Newbie is MY... drunk baby.

• Nurse Carla Espinosa : He figured out that spleen thing, maybe you should get off his case.

  Dr. Perry Cox : I would love to get off of his case. In fact, nothing would make me happier than to watch him walk into a patient's room and not feel that I have to run in after him and check up on everything.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You wanna know what I think?

  Dr. Perry Cox : ...No.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : I think you know how good a doctor J.D. is, and whether you admit it or not, you have a great personal stake in his future. So don't pretend for one second that all this attention you throw at him is just for him, because it's also for you. As your friend, I'm telling you that if you want him to keep growing you oughtta back off of him once in a while.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Carla...

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : And don't say anything, because you know I'm right and my jeans DO look good.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I feel like we're missing something in his patient history.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : When he came in, Mr. Milligan said that he and his son had been wrestling and goofing around.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Oh my God, he just might have goof-arounditis.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : We should also check him for the silly-willies.