- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: [whistles] Here's the deal, Eleonore. We're gonna go ahead and get a full work-up on this guy. So while drop an NG2 and do a gastric lavage, why don't you go ahead and get an order order on EKG with cardio-bio-markers? If you need to know where those are, they are on page 37 of the Ann Teller catalogue, right next to that salmon cable-knit sweater you wanted for so long but haven't had the courage to order, because you worried the weave is so thin, your nipples just might go ahead and peak their pink selves through! Isn't that right, Dr. Cox? Dr. Cooox!
- Dr. Perry Cox: [mimicking the J.D. daydream stare] Uhm, I'm sorry. Here I was in my own little world, talking to myself, dreaming about candy bracelets.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: I don't like candy bracelets.
- [in his head]
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: I love 'em!
- The Janitor: I don't want to clean this up.
- Nurse Laverne Roberts: Then you picked the wrong day to be the janitor.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: [Voice over] Me, I don't believe in fate. I believe we have more control than we think, and that every action has a reaction. After all, the most minor event -- even a butterfly flapping its wings -- can change everything. Sometimes for the better. Even if it doesn't seem like it at first.
- Todd Quinlan: I've got a pink doggy. But it's not little.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Todd, if you show me your penis, I will take it off you.
- Todd Quinlan: Cool.
- Young Janitor: Where's my teddy bear?
- Mrs. Janitor: Oh, I must have thrown it out accidentally while I was cleaning your room. This never would have happened if you weren't so filthy.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: But still, with so much of life left up to chance, you can't help but look back and wonder... What if things had been different?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Turk, I just got off of a 12-hour shift. I'm starving and I have yet to take a single bathroom break -- which, by the way, is why I'm dancing a little -- and you want me to run home, search through your nasties, and bring back your lucky 'do-rag?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: And if you could be back in twenty minutes that'd be great.