Quotes
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Dr. Elliot Reid : Why are you still antagonising him?
Dr. Perry Cox : I don't know. I can't stop.
Dr. Elliot Reid : I am warning you, you better come through for him.
Dr. Perry Cox : What do you want me to do, anyway?
Dr. Elliot Reid : Be more sensitive. Try giving him a hug.
Dr. Perry Cox : Barbie... you've met be before, yes? Now, at most, I can muster one hug a year, and nine months ago I hugged my son, so: you're gonna have to do it.
Dr. Elliot Reid : Um, you saw us before, we're still awkward from the break-up.
Dr. Perry Cox : Hold the phone: are you suggesting that if I sleep with him, that I won't have to deal with problems like this? Because I'm seriously considering taking that hit.
[as Elliot walks off]
Dr. Perry Cox : I mean, honestly, what is he like in post-game? Is there spooning? Because I don't spoon, I'm not a spooner.
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Dr. Perry Cox : Listen, Dan...
Dan Dorian : [points to a beard of bubbles on his chin] Captain Bubblebeard. Sheaht yer scuppers, me hardies!
[Dr. Cox shoves Dan's head under the bathwater]
Dr. Perry Cox : Now you're Dan again! Let's break down the kid's support structure, shall we? He's got me, an emotionally crippled narcissist; and he's got you, an emotionally crippled narcissist who is soaking in a tub of what must be, by now, mostly your own urine!
Dan Dorian : I believe the ratio has shifted, yes...
Dr. Perry Cox : And I have to believe that together, *together*, Dan, we can make it at least half way to one legitimite adult!
Dan Dorian : You're right, Coxy!
[Dan stands up. Dr. Cox frowns at his crotch]
Dan Dorian : JD needs us, and he needs us now!
Dr. Perry Cox : Towel!
Dan Dorian : Let's do this!
[Dan wraps himself in the towel, and takes one step out of the bathtub before falling flat on his face]
Dan Dorian : I may have lost some muscle mass in my legs...
Dr. Perry Cox : Fantastic.
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[Dr. Cox has duct-taped Dan's head to the wall above the bathtub]
Dan Dorian : What's this?
Dr. Perry Cox : It's your basic homemade anti-drowning device to be worn until your brother returns.
Dan Dorian : ...I like it.
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Dr. Perry Cox : Say, Barbie, for a second there, I thought you were being a little bit cold, but then you really saved it with the "
[sigh]
Dr. Perry Cox : ... 'Kay."
Dr. Elliot Reid : What are you going to do, hide from him all day and then call him "Ginger"?
Dr. Perry Cox : No. It's Monday, which of course means it's Ethnic Day, so I'll be going with Rosalita, and besides, I have a plan.
Dr. Elliot Reid : Which is?
Dr. Perry Cox : Yeah, unfortunately, the first part of the plan is not to share it with people who annoy me. Want to hear the second part?
Dr. Elliot Reid : Sure
Dr. Perry Cox : I can't. My hands are tied by the first part
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Dr. Perry Cox : Hey, Newbie? Just in case you didn't actually notice, I have been covering all your patients, answering all your pages, and doing pretty much everything shy of picking up your sundress from the drycleaners.
J.D. : Well, I didn't ask you to do any of that, did I?
[he storms off]
Dr. Perry Cox : Outstanding! You're walking away like a pissy little ingrate. I mean, bravo!
[starts applauding]
Dr. Perry Cox : Bravo, ah!
[He whistles as Ted walks up and joins him in applauding. Cox stops clapping]
Ted : What are we clapping for?
Dr. Perry Cox : His dad just died.
[Ted's applause trails off]
Dr. Perry Cox : Dammit
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Dr. Perry Cox : Truth be told, there, Newbie: I'm proud of you.
Dan Dorian : Me too.
J.D. : [narrating] It's amazing how a few simple words can change everything.
