Scrubs (TV Series)

My Extra Mile (2006)

Judy Reyes: Nurse Carla Espinosa

Quotes 

• Janitor : [Carla and the Janitor are looking for a missing patient]  Well, the good news is his head isn't in the storage room. Because I once found a head in the storage room. It's a funny story actually - I put it in my locker cause I didn't have time to get to the lost and found. Went on a long weekend, forgot all about it. Come back to work on Monday, open my locker - WHA! Head! Plus, rats! I panicked, I didn't know what the hell to do, SO, I grabbed the thing and I ran up to the roof and I punt it... and I shank wide left like I always do. Now - it's heading straight down right for Kelso, sitting in his convertible. I'm done, out of a job right? Wrong! At that second a hawk flies in, grabs the thing, and flies off with it. And I know what you're thinking - we're in the middle of a city, what's a hawk doing there?

  Carla : I can't believe you get a locker and I don't.

• Dr. Munson : Ok ok, so you're both fertile yet you're still unable to conceive, so. How often to you make love?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Twice today...

  Carla : Actually it was three times.

  [looks at Turk] 

  Carla : You were asleep for the last one.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Oh wow, that really happened? I thought it was weird that you were in one of my sex dreams.

  Carla : He is not allowed to dream about me. It gets too freaky in there.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Cirque de Soleil freaky. One time, she was skinless.

  Dr. Munson : Ok, stress is often a factor in conception. So tell me, do you think stress might be an issue?

  [flashback] 

  Carla : I swear. If you don't knock me up tonight... no more sex until you steal me a baby. So do it right this time.

  [back to presence] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : A little stress

  [Carla gestures a "tiny bit" with her fingers] 

• Carla : How was your first stress-free day?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Horrible. And you?

  Carla : Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time I'll kill myself.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [looking extremely shocked]  Not helping with the stress.