"Scrubs" My Heavy Meddle (TV Episode 2002) - Zach Braff as Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

Janitor : [JD is at the reception desk, sad] Girl problems?

J.D. : How did you know?

Janitor : Well, you look like you've got problems, you're a girl. Hence, girl problems. Watch your nails.

[Slams down hinged door]
J.D. : My high school teacher, Mr. Peters, died.

Turk : You OK?

J.D. : Doing a lot better than Mr. Peters.
Dr. Cox : If I have to see one more broken down piece of equipment, one more Gomer who is shuffled back and forth between some godforsaken home, one more patient who is denied treatment because they got the wrong insurance, I... There are times when I'm all by myself and I concentrate as hard as I can to see if I can't make myself catch on fire like the Human Torch. And mark my words, newbie, if I ever pull it off, I will be back to destroy this place.

J.D. : I used to like the Silver Surfer. Hang ten!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, I get it, it's because I'm a girl.

Dr. Perry Cox : Franklyn, you heard it, say it.

Franklyn : He's a girl.

Dr. Perry Cox : Good boy.
Dr. Cox : Listen up, little piggy. You open up this door in the next three seconds, or I will start huffing and puffing.

J.D. : But Dr. Cox, I...

[Dr. Cox puffs out his cheeks, and holds up one finger, then two...]

J.D. : Okay, okay, okay!
Nurse Carla Espinosa : So the bartender just let you skip out on the tab?

J.D. : He said I could pay him back by giving him a complete physical. Which is actually scary because I never mentioned I was a doctor.

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian