Scrubs (TV Series)

My Lucky Charm (2005)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Quotes 

• Dr. Perry Cox : What... what did you do around the apartment while I was gone?

  Jordan Sullivan : Oh! I turned your little office into my pajama closet, I threw out everything in the refrigerator that had the word "jerky" or "whiz" on it, I got rid of all your clothes that make you look like you're 20 years old. Don't worry, I saved your hockey jerseys, although I did move them into my new pajama closet. And for some reason none of the remotes work anymore. And why are you limping?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Fishing. I'm limping from fishing.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : I know that limp!

  Dr. Perry Cox : No, Bob... Bob, no...

  Dr. Bob Kelso : You just got a vasectomy! I had mine done back in '68; ironically that was the same year that Enid discovered pasta and I discovered I'm not attracted to enormous women.

  Dr. Perry Cox : I didn't just get a vasectomy...

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Come on, soldier... if I have to force you to drop your pants, I will.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Carla, I'm so bummed. I can't go see the Chamber Orchestra tonight, I totally forgot I have my Cantonese class. And I would totally call and cancel but the only thing I know how to say is "I'm allergic to peanuts."

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Oh, Elliot, I was really looking forward to this.

  The Janitor : Really? About five seconds ago you were all giddy about going home and taking a bath tonight.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Why would you do that to me?

  The Janitor : New thing. I'm busting chops.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : [laughs defensively] 

  Dr. Elliot Reid : So, you just forgot we even had plans?

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : What's the big deal? You were flaking on them anyway.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : I wasn't. I have my Cantonese class.

  The Janitor : But do you? Do you really?

  [Elliot makes a "What are you doing" face - Janitor shrugs] 

  The Janitor : Busting chops.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Fine! Well at least I remembered the plans well enough to flake on them!

  [storms off down a corridor] 

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : [shouting after her]  Oh yeah? Well if I knew you were gonna flake on them, I would never have made plans to forget in the first place, because you...

  Dr. Perry Cox : [has just walked in from the corridor Elliot left down]  She's gone, Carla. It's over.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Where the hell have you been for the last few days?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Deep sea fishing.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You hate fishing.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Went with my buddies.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You don't have any buddies.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Oh yeah? Well we landed a 200 pound white marlin off the coast of San Diego.

  The Janitor : Interesting, because that's about 3,000 miles from the natural habitat of the white marlin. Hmm, well perhaps it hopped a train from Cape Cod!

  Dr. Perry Cox : Why?

  The Janitor : I'm busting chops today. You can ask anybody.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : It's true.

  The Janitor : See?

• Dr. Perry Cox : Jordan, let me talk for a second. I've been trained for many years to take any emotion I feel, push it down, and then let it out by drinking way too much and by yelling at the football players on my TV screen. And I... I really thought I hit the jackpot when I finally met a woman who was as disturbed and closed-off as I am.

  Jordan Sullivan : [Touched]  Thank you.

  Dr. Perry Cox : You're welcome. Still, now I want more. I--I really do. I want to talk about things. Not--not everything. Not everything. I definitely, definitely don't want to talk about everything. For instance I don't need to know when you beat up a woman in the park because her purse is the same color as yours; but things that matter, things that are important to us as a--as a family. And I know... I know that there are guys who bring flowers and that there are guys who write love songs. But, Jordan, I'm a guy sitting in front of you here with a twice operated-on penis that says "I want to be a couple that communicates more openly."