- Dr. Cox: Let me go ahead and tee this up for you there, Annika: We are all going to die someday. For the lucky few of us, it'll be nice and fast. But for most of us, it'll be just as long and slow and painful as a conversation with you.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: [extremely frustrated] NOOOOOOOOO, Todd, the term "melons" is just as offensive as "sweater meat"!
- Todd Quinlan: Well, then I am thoroughly confused.
- Todd Quinlan: Well as long as your expectations are low, maybe we should have sex.
- Dr. Miller: I'm concerned about you. I think you hold us women responsible for the fact your mommy didn't give you enough attention. And if you don't get help soon, you might start picking up prostitutes and killing them.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Dr. Kelso, the sexual harassment around here has gotten out of control. The other day someone asked Laverne if her boobs were made for walking; it's rude, and it makes no sense.
- Nurse Laverne Roberts: Paris and Nikki were not amused.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: You named your breasts after the Hilton sisters?
- Nurse Laverne Roberts: Other way around, sugar.
- Ted Buckland: Ladies, this hospital's policy on sexual harassment is well-established, plus...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: [cuts Ted off] I'll handle this. I think what Garfunkel here is trying to say is that you should all take a second, think seriously about what is really bothering you, and then have a big, group unbunching of your panties.
- Maddie: Does this bra make my boobs look fake?
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: ...No.
- Maddie: Damn.
- Maddie: [Turns to Allison] You wanna switch?
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: No! No switchies! I think we should all be happy with the bras God gave us.