Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Betrayal (1997)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Elaine Benes
Photos
Quotes
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Elaine Benes : Hey, what time is it?
Jerry Seinfeld : You just asked me two minutes ago.
["Two Minutes Ago"]
Elaine Benes : Hey, what time is it?
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, I'm not wearin' a watch.
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[at Sue Ellen's wedding, just before the ceremony is to begin]
Elaine Benes : [whispering] Would you grow up, George? What is the difference? Nina slept with him, he slept with me, I slept with Pinter. Nobody cares; it's all ancient history.
George Costanza : [loudly] You slept with the groom?
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George Costanza : So, Elaine, are you gonna sleep with me, or what?
Elaine Benes : George, I just got off a twenty-three-hour plane ride. I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought.
George Costanza : Fine; I'll ask you again when you're rested.
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, I'm sure she'll come around.
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Elaine Benes : [drunk] George knows that you slept with Nina; that's why he was acting so weird.
Jerry Seinfeld : How did he find out?
Elaine Benes : [holding a miniature bottle enthusiastically] He "schnapped" me!
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[Elaine popped into Jerry's apartment just as Nina was leaving Jerry's bedroom]
Elaine Benes : Who else you got back there?
Jerry Seinfeld : Look, there was an awkward moment in the conversation. It never happened before!
Elaine Benes : You *slept with Nina.* What are you gonna tell George?
Jerry Seinfeld : Nothing - and neither will you. George can never know about this: It'll crush him.
Elaine Benes : All right, all right; I'll put it in the vault.
Jerry Seinfeld : No good. Too many people know the combination.
Elaine Benes : What combination?
[Jerry mimes drinking from a bottle]
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Elaine Benes : You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail: invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding.
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, at least the wedding gown will give her some support.
Elaine Benes : Not the point. The wedding is in one week; I got this today.
Jerry Seinfeld : So you think it's a non-vite.
Elaine Benes : It's an un-vitation.
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[Elaine reads the wedding invitation from Sue Ellen Mischke]
Elaine Benes : Hey, look at this: Pinter Ranawat? I wonder if he's related to that guy I dated, Peter Ranawat.
Jerry Seinfeld : It's probably like "Smith" over there.
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Sue Ellen Mischke : Elaine, you were my maid of honor and you slept with my Pinter?
Elaine Benes : No, no, no - it was years ago, before you met him! And, I gotta tell you, it was very mechanical.
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Jerry Seinfeld : You know you're not supposed to drink while you're keeping a secret! Is there anything else?
Elaine Benes : I can't tell you!
Jerry Seinfeld : Here, drink this.
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[arriving in India]
Elaine Benes : Oh, God; it's so hot! And what is that smell?
Jerry Seinfeld : I think it's the stench of death.
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Elaine Benes : Your son is marrying my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke -
Usher : You're not going to the wedding, are you?
Elaine Benes : Well -
Usher : Don't go. India is a dreadful, dreadful place.
Zubin : You know, it's the only country that still has the plague.
[laughs]
Zubin : I mean, the plague - please.
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Elaine Benes : Hey, are those Timberlands... painted black?
George Costanza : Is your nose pierced?
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Sue Ellen Mischke : Elaine? Oh! Oh, I am so happy to see you!
Elaine Benes : You are?
Sue Ellen Mischke : Well, of course. No one else was even willing to come to India. I mean, not even Pinter's parents - and they're Indian.
-
Elaine Benes : Oh, boy; there's Sue Ellen. She didn't want me at this wedding, but here am I with a bunch of my idiot friends.
Jerry Seinfeld : [excitedly] This is gonna be great!
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Nina Stengle : By the way, you never said anything to George about Jerry and me, did you?
Elaine Benes : Oh, please - it's in the vault.
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George Costanza : Jerry seem a little weird when I mentioned Nina?
Elaine Benes : Nina? Nina? Nope. Sh... Not weird, no, Nina.
George Costanza : Why do you keep saying "Nina"?
Elaine Benes : I don't know.
[laughing]
Elaine Benes : "Nina." "Nina!"... I'm gonna go grab a bite.
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Zubin : If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire trip.
Elaine Benes : That's... fantastic.
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Elaine Benes : Hey, are you gettin' taller?
George Costanza : Timberlands.