Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Betrayal (1997)
Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld
Photos
Quotes
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Jerry Seinfeld : All right, I admit it. I slept with Nina - but that's all!
George Costanza : "That's all"? That's everything! I don't know what all the rest of it is for, anyway.
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Jerry Seinfeld : What the hell is email?
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Elaine Benes : Hey, what time is it?
Jerry Seinfeld : You just asked me two minutes ago.
["Two Minutes Ago"]
Elaine Benes : Hey, what time is it?
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, I'm not wearin' a watch.
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["Eleven Years Earlier"]
[Jerry is moving into his new apartment; Kramer emerges from his, wearing a bathrobe]
Cosmo Kramer : Hey, how you doin'?
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld; I'm movin' in. I saw your name on the buzzer: You must be Kessler.
Cosmo Kramer : Uh, no, actually, it's "Kramer."... Uh, do you need any help, or - ?
Jerry Seinfeld : No, thanks. But, I ordered a pizza; you want some of it?
Cosmo Kramer : Uh, no, no, no; I couldn't impose.
Jerry Seinfeld : Why not? We're neighbors. What's mine is yours.
Cosmo Kramer : [leaning against the door-frame and looking around in wonder] Really?
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George Costanza : So, Elaine, are you gonna sleep with me, or what?
Elaine Benes : George, I just got off a twenty-three-hour plane ride. I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought.
George Costanza : Fine; I'll ask you again when you're rested.
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, I'm sure she'll come around.
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Elaine Benes : [drunk] George knows that you slept with Nina; that's why he was acting so weird.
Jerry Seinfeld : How did he find out?
Elaine Benes : [holding a miniature bottle enthusiastically] He "schnapped" me!
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[Jerry is disgusted by Newman's beautiful girlfriend's affection for Newman]
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, come on... You know he's a postman, don't you?
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[Elaine popped into Jerry's apartment just as Nina was leaving Jerry's bedroom]
Elaine Benes : Who else you got back there?
Jerry Seinfeld : Look, there was an awkward moment in the conversation. It never happened before!
Elaine Benes : You *slept with Nina.* What are you gonna tell George?
Jerry Seinfeld : Nothing - and neither will you. George can never know about this: It'll crush him.
Elaine Benes : All right, all right; I'll put it in the vault.
Jerry Seinfeld : No good. Too many people know the combination.
Elaine Benes : What combination?
[Jerry mimes drinking from a bottle]
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Cosmo Kramer : Hey... FDR wants me to drop dead.
George Costanza : "FDR"?
Cosmo Kramer : Yeah, Franklin Delano Romanowski. I go to his birthday party and, just before he blew out his candles, he gives me this look.
George Costanza : Stink eye?
Jerry Seinfeld : Crook eye?
Cosmo Kramer : *Evil* eye.
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, everybody's a little cranky on their birthday.
George Costanza : Oh, it's a bad day. No, you got everyone in your house; you're thinking, "These are my friends?"
Jerry Seinfeld : Every day is my birthday.
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Elaine Benes : You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail: invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding.
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, at least the wedding gown will give her some support.
Elaine Benes : Not the point. The wedding is in one week; I got this today.
Jerry Seinfeld : So you think it's a non-vite.
Elaine Benes : It's an un-vitation.
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[Elaine reads the wedding invitation from Sue Ellen Mischke]
Elaine Benes : Hey, look at this: Pinter Ranawat? I wonder if he's related to that guy I dated, Peter Ranawat.
Jerry Seinfeld : It's probably like "Smith" over there.
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[discussing why Jerry and Nina never dated]
Jerry Seinfeld : We were too compatible. Our conversations were so engrossing.
George Costanza : How engrossing?
Jerry Seinfeld : If we ever had a problem with Elaine, we could bring in Nina and not lose a step.
George Costanza : [chuckles with surprise, then shows worry] You don't, uh, have a replacement lined up for me, do you?
[continues chuckling]
George Costanza : [Jerry chuckles knowingly and smiles]
Jerry Seinfeld : Anyway, like I was saying, I couldn't make the transition from conversation to sex. There were no awkward pauses - I need an awkward pause.
George Costanza : I'm all awkward pauses. Fix me up with her.
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Jerry Seinfeld : You know you're not supposed to drink while you're keeping a secret! Is there anything else?
Elaine Benes : I can't tell you!
Jerry Seinfeld : Here, drink this.
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[arriving in India]
Elaine Benes : Oh, God; it's so hot! And what is that smell?
Jerry Seinfeld : I think it's the stench of death.
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Elaine Benes : Oh, boy; there's Sue Ellen. She didn't want me at this wedding, but here am I with a bunch of my idiot friends.
Jerry Seinfeld : [excitedly] This is gonna be great!
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George Costanza : Hello, friend. Enjoying the flight?
Jerry Seinfeld : Coach to India: only way to go.
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George Costanza : Wait a minute - Nina just saw me in my Timberlands. Now, I have to wear them every time I see her.
Jerry Seinfeld : Why?
George Costanza : In any other shoe, I lose two inches; I can't have a drop-down. We were eye-to-eye; I can't go eye-to-chin.
Jerry Seinfeld : So you're gonna wear 'em no matter what the situation?
George Costanza : In every situation, no matter how silly I look.