- Elaine: Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents? Remember, it was such a treat to go and they serve you this different food that you never saw before, and they put it in front of you, and it is such a delicious and exciting adventure? And now I just feel like a big sweaty hog waiting for them to fill up the trough.
- Jerry Seinfeld: I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers.
- Elaine: [waiting in restaurant] You know, it's not fair that people are selected first come, first served. It should be based on who's hungriest!
- George Costanza: Does she care? No. Does anyone ever display the slightest sensitivity over the problems of a fellow individual? No. No. A resounding no!
- Phone Guy: [walking by] Hey, sorry I took so long.
- George Costanza: Oh that's okay, really, don't worry about it.
- Elaine Benes: Should I do it, George?
- George Costanza: For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in the soup and blow.
- [first lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: I'm on the street the other day, make a pay phone call, go overtime on the call, hang up the phone, walk away. You've had this happen? Phone rings. It's the phone company. They want more money. Don't you love this? And you've got them right where you want them for the first time in your life. You're on the street. There's nothing they can do. I like to let it ring a few times, you know, let her sweat a little over there, and then just pick it up. "Yeah, hello, operator? Oh, I've got the money. I've got the money right here. Do you hear that? That's a quarter. Yeah, you want that, don't you?"
- [last lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof of that is cannibalism. Cannibalism. What...? What do they say? I mean, they're eating, you know? "This is good. Who is this? I like this person." You know, I mean... I would think the hardest thing about being a cannibal is trying to get some really deep sleep. You know what I mean? I would think you'd be like... "What is it? Who is that? Who's there? Who's there? Is somebody there? What do you want? What do you want? You look hungry. Are you hungry? Get out of here."
- George Costanza: [George reaches for the payphone, but a woman snatches it and starts dialing] Excuse me, I was waiting here.
- Woman on Phone: Where? I didn't see you.
- George Costanza: I've been standing here for the last ten minutes!
- Woman on Phone: Well I won't be long.
- George Costanza: That's not the point. The point is I was here first.
- Woman on Phone: Well if you were here first, YOU'D be holding the phone.