Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Stakeout (1990)
Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld
Photos
Quotes
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Jerry : [of George's fanny pack] Looks like your belt is digesting a small animal.
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George Costanza : She calls me up at my office, she says, "We have to talk."
Jerry : Uh, the four worst words in the English language.
George Costanza : That, or "Whose bra is this?"
Jerry : [wincing and nodding] That is worse.
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[first lines]
Jerry : So I'm on a line at the supermarket. Two women in front of me. One of them, her total was $8.00. The other, $3.00. They both, of course, choose to pay by the use of the... check. Check. Now... The fact is, if it is a woman in front of you that's writing out the check, you'll not be waiting long. I have noticed that women are very fast with checks, you know, because they write out so many checks. The keys, they can never find in their purse. They don't know where that is. But the checkbook... They got that. They never fumble for the checkbook. They've got... The checkbook comes out of a holster. Who do I make it out to? There's my I.D. There's something about a check that, to a man, is not masculine. I don't know exactly what it is. I think, to a man, a check is like a note from your mother that says, "I don't have any money, but if you'll contact these people, I'm sure they'll stick up for me. If you could just trust me this one time. I don't have any money, but I have these. I wrote on these. Is this of any value at all?"
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[last lines]
Jerry : You know, I think that... even if you've had a relationship with someone, or let's say especially if you've had a relationship with someone, and you try and become friends afterwards, it's very difficult. Isn't this? It's hard because you know each other so well, you know? You know all each other's tricks. It's like two magicians trying to entertain each other, you know? The one goes, "Look, a rabbit." The other one goes, "So?" I believe that's your card. Look, why don't we just saw each other in half and call it a night, okay?
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Jerry : [Playing Scrabble with his mom, who just played the word] Quone?
Elaine Benes : [Counting points] Thirty, thirty-one...
Jerry : Quone? No, I'm afraid I'm going to have to challenge that.
Cosmo Kramer : No, no. You don't have to challenge that. That's a word. That's a definite word.
Jerry : I am challenging.
Cosmo Kramer : Quone. To quone something.
Jerry : [Jerry opens the dictionary] Uh-huh.
Elaine Benes : I'm not playing with you anymore.
Morty Seinfeld : Quone's not a word.
Jerry : [Showing Kramer the dictionary] No good. Sorry. There it is. Get it off.
Elaine Benes : [to Kramer, as she removes her tiles] Why did you make me put that down?
Cosmo Kramer : Nah, we need a medical dictionary! If a patient gets difficult, you QUONE him.
