The Simpsons (TV Series)

Half-Decent Proposal (2002)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier

Quotes 

• Patty : Overnight bag, no husband in sight - it's happened!

  Selma : She left Homer? I'll get the champale!

  Patty : And let's get that ring off!

  Marge Simpson : Whoa, whoa, whoa, Delilah! I didn't leave Homer, and I never will. I just need one night away from his snoring.

  Selma : Great - we'll have a girls' night.

  Patty : No bras!

• Selma : Let's catch the tail end of Nookie in New York.

  Marge Simpson : Nookie in New York?

  Patty : It's a cable show about four single women who act like gay men.

  Marge Simpson : That sounds great!

  Miranda : [Marge, Patty and Selma turn on "Nookie in New York"]  If I'm not having sex by the end of this goat-cheese quesadilla, I'm going to scream.

  Charlotte : I also enjoy sex.

  Samantha : Since this morning, I've had sex with a New York Knick, two subway cops, and a guy who works on Wall Street.

  Charlotte : Broker?

  Carrie : Nah. She's just really sore.

  [They all laugh] 

  Patty : [Back in the apartment]  This is so like our lives.

  Selma : It's like they hid a camera in our apartment.

• Marge Simpson : I haven't lost so much sleep since little Barty had the scoots.

  Dr. Hibbert : Well, there's a surgical option, but it's not cheap.

  [Writes something on a slip of paper, and slides it across his desk to Homer] 

  Dr. Hibbert : Here's what it costs.

  Homer Simpson : [Reads paper]  Interesting. Here's my counter-offer.

  [Writes something on the paper and gives it back to Hibbert] 

  Dr. Hibbert : [Reads. The note says, "Do it for free"] 

  [Chuckles, then turns very serious] 

  Dr. Hibbert : Get out.

• Marge : Homer, we can't take his money.

  Homer : Aww, I can't take his money, I can't print my own money, I have to work for my money. Why don't I just lay down and die.

• Marge Simpson : I knew this weekend was just an excuse to get in my mouth! Keep your money - I'm going home!

• Cab Driver : That's nine hundred and twelve dollars.

  Marge Simpson : Send the bill to Baron von Kiss-a-lot.

  Cab Driver : No problem-o.

  [He drives away] 

  Butler : [the scene cuts to a shot of a Bavarian castle, and then to an aristocratic drawing room. A butler approaches a man seated by a fireplace]  This just arrived, Herr Baron.

  [Hands him the taxi bill, which he reads] 

  Baron : [In German accent]  Okay, who's the wise guy?