The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer's Phobia (1997)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Steel Mill Worker #1, Barney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marge : [about a gay man]  Homer, he prefers the company of men.

  Homer : Who doesn't?

• [Homer is worried that Bart will turns out gay] 

  Moe : Come on, don't take this so hard, Homer. You still got that other kid, uh... Lisa. Let's, uh, take her out hunting tomorrow; make her into a man.

  Homer : Aw, she'd never go. She's a vegetarian.

  Moe : Oh, geez! Homer, geez! You and Marge ain't cousins, are you?

• Homer : I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa-laaaaming.

• [hiding underneath a trough] 

  Barney : Is it okay to come out now, Mr. Gay Man, sir?

• Roscoe : [to workers]  Hey! Listen up! I want all of youse to say hello to the Simpsons.

  Workers : [waving in a cliche, sissy-like attitude]  Hello-o.

  Homer : [gasps]  Has the whole world gone insane?

  Steel Mill Worker #1 : [sissy-like]  Stand still, there's a spark in you hair!

  Steel Mill Worker #2 : Get it, get it!

  Homer : [whimpers as another guy walks past Homer holding a vat of hot steel in hot pants] 

  Steel Mill Worker #3 : Hot stuff, comin' through!

  Homer : [screams] 

  Bart Simpson : Dad, why'd you take me to a gay steel mill?

  Homer : [frightened]  I don't know! This is a NIGHTMARE! YOU'RE ALL SICK!

  Steel Mill Worker #4 : [waving his hand]  Oh be nice!

  Homer : Oh! My son doesn't stand a chance! The whole world's gone gay!

  [a whistle goes off] 

  Homer : Oh my god! What's happening now?

  Roscoe : We work hard, we play hard.

  [pulls a chain, "Everybody Dance Now" starts playing as the mill turns into a gay nightclub] 

• Homer : There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me!

• Homer : You know Bart, maybe it's just the concussion talking, but anyway you chose to live your life is OK.

  Bart : Huh?

  Lisa : He thinks you're gay.

  Bart : He thinks I'm gay?

• [to Bart] 

  Homer : He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he?

• Homer : OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod! I danced with a gay! Marge, Lisa, promise me you won't tell anyone. Promise me!

• [Robo-Santa chases the reindeer away] 

  Homer : It's a miracle!

  John : No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing.

• Homer : ...And the whole steel mill was gay.

  Moe : Jeez, where ya been, Homer? The whole steel *industry's* gay.

• [Homer places Bart in front of a sexy billboard] 

  Homer : Well, it's been two hours. How do you feel?

  Bart : I dunno. I kinda want a cigarette.

  Homer : That's good. Let's get you a pack. What's your brand?

  Bart : Anything slim.

  Homer : D'oh!

• Marge : Homer, look! It's a TV Guide owned by Jackie O!

  John : You should see the crossword puzzle! She thought Mindy lived with "Mark."

  Homer : Give her a break! Her husband was killed!

  John : Oh, I know! Wasn't that awful? Hi, I'm John! Can I help you with anything?

  Marge : Yes, I have something that I'd like to sell.

  John : Please tell me it's your hair.

  Marge : No, it's an heirloom my grandmother passed down to me. A very rare, old figurine from the Civil War.

  Lisa : Please don't construe our ownership of this as an endorsement of slavery.

  John : Hmm, well see, here's the thing on this. It's a Johnny Reb bottle, early 1970s, one of the J & R Liquor lads. Two books of green stamps, if I'm not mistaken.

  Marge : Oh, no! Oh no! No, no, no, no! It's a very, very old figurine!

  John : No, it's a liquor bottle. See?

  [Unscrews the cap and pours himself a drink] 

  John : Ah, that'll make your bull run!

• Homer Simpson : Why, you little...!

  [he starts choking Bart] 

  Bart Simpson : Dad! Dad! Company! Company!

  Homer Simpson : [letting him go]  Oh. I'll just be another minute, John. Have a seat.

  [he continues choking Bart] 

• Homer : How can you love a box or a toy or graphics? You're a grown man.

  John : It's camp!

  [Homer stares blankly] 

  John : The tragically ludicrous? The ludicrously tragic?

  Homer : Oh, yeah. Like when a clown dies.

  John : Well, sort of. But I mean more like inflatable furniture, or Last Supper TV trays, or even this bowling shirt.

  [He turns, revealing it was Homer's] 

  John : Can you believe somebody gave this to Goodwill?

• Homer : I resent you people using that word. That's our word for making fun of you. We need it!

• Marge : You feel softer than before.

  Homer : I've been tenderized.

• Bart Simpson : I'm not gonna shoot a reindeer in a pen.

  Homer : Come on, Bart. Be a sport and kill Blitzen, okay?