The Simpsons (TV Series)

Marge Be Not Proud (1995)

Dan Castellaneta: Krusty the Clown, Santa in Commercial, Homer Simpson, Mario, Lee Carvallo, Sonic the Hedgehog, Guard in Bart's Fantasy, Photographer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : [pressing "play" on the answering machine]  Hmm, we didn't have a message when we left. How very odd.

  Allan Sherman : [sings]  Hello, Muddah, hello, Faddah. Here I am at Camp Granada.

  Homer Simpson : Marge, is Lisa at Camp Granada?

• Homer Simpson : I figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no eggnog. In fact, no nog period. And third, absolutely no stealing for 3 months!

• Bart Simpson : Buy me "Bonestorm" or go to hell!

  Marge Simpson : Bart!

  Homer Simpson : Young man, in this house, we use a little word called "please".

  Bart Simpson : It's the coolest video game ever!

  Marge Simpson : I'm sorry, honey, but those games cost up to and including $70. And they're violent, and they distract you from your schoolwork.

  Bart Simpson : Those are all good points, but the problem is, they don't result in me getting the game.

  Homer Simpson : I know how you feel, Bart. When I was your age, I wanted an electric football game more than anything in the world. And my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life.

  [pause] 

  Homer Simpson : Well, good night.

• Don Brodka : [Jabbing his finger in Bart's chest]  I thought I told you, don't return for busted merchandise.

  Homer Simpson : What are you doing to my son?

  Don Brodka : I'm afraid your son broke the 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not steal.

  Marge Simpson : That's crazy. Bart's not a shoplifter, he's just a little boy.

  Don Brodka : Oh, sure, now he's just a little boy stealing little toys. But someday, he'll be a grown man stealing stadiums and - and quarries.

  Marge Simpson : My son may not be perfect, but I know in my heart he's not a shoplifter.

• Homer : Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies, for fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing. Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects.

  [makes some sound effects and laughs to himself] 

  Homer : Where was I? Oh, yeah: stay out of my booze.

  Bart Simpson : Mom, I'm really sorry.

  Marge Simpson : [in an emotionless tone]  I know you are.

  Bart Simpson : Is there anything I can do?

  Marge Simpson : I don't know.

  [pause] 

  Marge Simpson : Why don't you go to bed?

  Bart Simpson : Okay.

• [as Bart thinks about stealing a copy of "Bonestorm", he imagines various video game characters while weighing up his options] 

  Luigi : Go ahead-a, Bart. Take the Bonestorm!

  Mario : The store, she's so rich! She'll-a never notice!

  Donkey Kong : Duh, it's the company's fault for making you want it so much!

  Lee Carvallo : Don't do it, son. How's that game going to help your putting?

  Sonic the Hedgehog : [running around]  JUST TAKE IT! TAKE IT, TAKE IT, TAKE IT, TAKE IT, TAKE IT... TAKE IT!

• Lee Carvallo : Welcome to "Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge". I am Carvallo. Now, choose a club. You have chosen a... 3-Wood. May I suggest a putter? 3-Wood. Now, enter the force of your swing. I suggest... "feather touch". You have entered "POWER DRIVE". Now, push 7-8-7 to swing. Ball is in... parking lot. Would you like to play again? You have selected "No."

• Homer : Hey, we didn't have a message on our answering machine when we left. How very odd.

• Bart Simpson : You guys made a snowman family?

  Homer Simpson : Check it out, boy! It's like looking into a living snow mirror.

  Bart Simpson : Why didn't you wait for me?

  Marge Simpson : I didn't think you'd mind. I figured you were getting a little too old for this. But you can still make one. There's some snow left under the car!

• Homer Simpson : I've figured out the boy's punishment: First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no egg nog. In fact, no nog, period. And third, absolutely no stealing for three months.

  Marge Simpson : [holding a clay sculpture designed like Bart's hand]  I always thought I understood my special little guy. But somewhere along the road, his hand slipped away from mine.

  Homer Simpson : [drawing a robot in his notebook]  Eh, what are you gonna do?

  Marge Simpson : [having a second thought]  He's not my little baby anymore. Maybe I mother him too much.

• Homer Simpson : this the season marge we only get 30 sweet noggy says then the government takes it away again.

• [the family are heading to the mall for photos, but Bart is wearing a disguise] 

  Marge Simpson : What's the matter with your face? Is that a fake nose? Are you wearing chin putty?

  [Bart is shown to be wearing an aviator cap and sunglasses aside from the putty] 

  Bart Simpson : [abrasive]  I don't have to listen to these wild allegations!

  [His fake nose falls off and is eaten by Santa's Littler Helper. Marge takes off the rest of his disguise] 

  Marge Simpson : Please, Bart; no more pranks. It would mean so much to me if we could have just *one* nice family photo.

  [She gestures to a trio of family photos. The rest of the family looks normal in each of them, but in the first, Bart is cross-eyed and sticking his tongue out; in the second, he's wearing a black square moustache and saluting; in the third, he's holding a speech bubble next to Homer, which reads "I stink!"] 

  Homer : [looking at the last photo]  Hey! I don't remember saying that.

• Marge Simpson : Bart, what's taking so long? If you're having that problem with your zipper, I can send your father up.

  Homer : Oh no, I'm not.