The Simpsons (TV Series)

Papa's Got a Brand New Badge (2002)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : You know, I've had a lot of jobs. Boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carnie, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E Mart clerk, homophobe and missionary. But protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all.

  Marge Simpson : If you like protecting people, you can make that your job. You know, start a security company.

  Homer Simpson : [kisses Marge]  Finally a way to combine my love of helping people with my love of hurting people.

• Bart : Can I have a beer?

  Homer : All right, but not the imported.

  Marge : Homer!

  Homer : You've got to set limits, Marge.

• Homer : That's it. This job is too dangerous. I'm giving this badge to the first person I see.

  Chief Wiggum : That's funny because this is how I got this job the first time.

  Marge : Thank you, chief for saving my husband's life.

  Chief Wiggum : I didn't do anything. They took my gun and my badge. They would have gotten my squad car too if I hadn't hidden it under some hay.

  Homer : Then who shot all of the gangsters?

  [Maggie looks out of the window and cocks her gun and hides it under her crib mattress] 

  Homer : It's time to go check on Maggie.

  Marge : Isn't she sweet? She's probably thinking of the day that she shot Mr Burns.

  Homer : Yeah.