The Simpsons (TV Series)

Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming (1995)

Kelsey Grammer: Sideshow Bob

Quotes 

• [appearing on the stadium television] 

  Sideshow Bob : Hello, Springfield. Sorry to divert your attention from all the big noises and shiny things. But something's been troubling me lately: television! Wouldn't our lives be so much richer if television were done away with?

  Moe : What?

  Dr. Hibbert : Surely he's not talking about VH-1.

  Sideshow Bob : Why, we could revive the lost arts of conversation and scrimshaw. Therefore I submit to you, we abolish television, permanently!

  Homer Simpson : Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!

  Sideshow Bob : Oh, and one more thing: I've stolen a nuclear weapon. If you do not rid this city of television in two hours, I will detonate it. Farewell.

  [Bob cuts the link. People start to panic, then Bob reappears] 

  Sideshow Bob : By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.

• Sideshow Bob : Well, if it isn't my arch-nemesis, Bart Simpson. And his sister, Lisa, to whom I'm fairly indifferent.

• [reading from a bomb's casing] 

  Sideshow Bob : "Best before November 1959." Dammit, Bob. There were plenty of brand new bombs, but you had to go for that retro 50s charm.

• Sideshow Bob : [high-pitched]  All of Springfield trembles before the might of Sideshow Bob...! Blasted helium!

• Sideshow Bob : [after his demands are met]  Yes. They're giving in.

  [pause] 

  Sideshow Bob : Blast. I should've made more demands. Like some tasty marmalade... Well, maybe next time...

• Sideshow Bob : I renew my objection to this pointless endeavor. Informally now and by affidavit later. Time permitted.