The Simpsons (TV Series)

Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two (1995)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Groundskeeper Willie, Krusty the Clown, Sideshow Mel, Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Pigeon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lisa : I don't think anyone in this family could be capable of murder.

  Grampa : You never know what people are capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane. But last year, I proved myself wrong.

• Grampa : Smingers did it. Case closed. Now where's my hat? I'm going to the outhouse.

  [leaves] 

  Lisa : We don't have an outhouse.

  Homer : AH! My toolshed!

• Sideshow Mel : I am Melvin Van Horn. And this is my associate, Herschel Krustofsky.

  Krusty the Clown : Hey-hey.

  Sideshow Mel : Officers, you have arrested an innocent man!

  Chief Wiggum : Really? Ah, jeez.

  [Opens cell door] 

  Chief Wiggum : All right, Colossus, you're free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain.

  Dr. Colossus : But all my stuff is there.

• Groundskeeper Willie : I could ne'er have shot Burns. It's impossible for me to fire a pistol If you check me medical records, you'll see I have a crippling arthritis in me index fingers.

  [holds up his fingers, which are misshapen] 

  Groundskeeper Willie : I got it from space invaders in 1977.

  Chief Wiggum : Oh yeah, that was a pretty addictive video game.

  Groundskeeper Willie : Video game?!

• [Smithers's memory clears, and he realizes he shot Jasper, not Mr. Burns] 

  Smithers : So, instead of wounding an evil old man, I may have killed an innocent old man... that's much worse!

  Krusty the Clown : About fifty thousand volts worse, if you know what I mean!

  [imitates the sounds of an electric chair and sizzling flesh] 

• Chief Wiggum : Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.

  Homer Simpson : D'OH!

  Chief Wiggum : Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "d'oh".

• Homer Simpson : [holding a gun to Mr. Burns' head]  Say it, Burns! Say I never shot you!

  [realizes that he's about to shoot him] 

  Homer Simpson : [calmly]  Before.

• Marge Simpson : Grampa, I found your cigar box dug up in the backyard, but the gun wasn't there. Have you seen it?

  Grampa : You accuse me of everything around here! "Who put slippers in the dishwasher? Who threw a cane at the TV? Who fell into the china hutch?"

  Marge Simpson : I was just asking if you'd seen it. There's no need to be a prickly pear.

  [Marge leaves the room. Grampa pulls out his Smith & Wesson revolver and caresses it] 

  Grampa : Oh, you're the bee's knees, baby. I missed you bad...

  Marge Simpson : [returning]  Were you talking to me, Grampa?

  Grampa : [hiding the gun]  Uh... yes.

  Marge Simpson : [shudders]  Ugh.

• Lisa Simpson : Don't shoot my dad! He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a fly!

  Montgomery Burns : [opening the door, she and Wiggum see Homer shaking Burns]  Ho-mer Simp-son! Ho-mer Simp-son!

  Homer Simpson : Stop telling them it was me! I'll kill you for saying it was me.

  Montgomery Burns : What is the meaning of this? Smithers, who is this beast that's shaking me?

• Mr. Burns : Homer Simpson?

  Homer Simpson : So, you finally learned my name eh?

  Mr. Burns : [shaking his head]  Homer Simpson.

  Homer Simpson : I've got no time for your demented parlor games! You won't be telling anyone else that Homer Simpson shot you.

• Lisa : I don't think anyone in this family is capable of attempted murder.

  Grampa : You never know what you're capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a german plane. But last year I proved myself wrong.

• Lisa : Nancy Drew says that all you need to solve a mystery is an inquisitive temperament and two good friends. And I've got an inquisitive temperament. Maybe I could help solve this.

  Marge Simpson : Mmm... I think you're a little young to be investigating an attempted murder. Why don't you try to solve the mystery of who put that mud in the freezer?

  Bart : Who wants chocolate ice cream?

  Homer Simpson : Me, me, me!