The Simpsons (TV Series)

Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two (1995)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• Lisa : I don't think anyone in this family could be capable of murder.

  Grampa : You never know what people are capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane. But last year, I proved myself wrong.

• Grampa : Smingers did it. Case closed. Now where's my hat? I'm going to the outhouse.

  [leaves] 

  Lisa : We don't have an outhouse.

  Homer : AH! My toolshed!

• Lisa : [in Chief Wiggum's surrealistic dream, a la "Twin Peaks"]  Chief Wiggum... Don't... Eat... The... Clues.

  [Wiggum looks down at his hand and sees he's holding a burning playing card. Lisa holds up a burning Ace] 

  Lisa : This suit burns better... Look.

  Chief Wiggum : Come again?

  Lisa : Better... look... burns suit.

  Chief Wiggum : I'm not following you.

  Lisa : Burns's suit. Burns's suit.

  Chief Wiggum : What?

  Lisa : [normal voice]  Look at Burns's suit! Sheesh!

• Lisa : Nancy Drew says that all a person needs to solve a mystery is an inquisitive temperament and two good friends. And I've got an inquisitive temperament. Maybe I could help solve this.

• Lisa Simpson : Don't shoot my dad! He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a fly!

  Montgomery Burns : [opening the door, she and Wiggum see Homer shaking Burns]  Ho-mer Simp-son! Ho-mer Simp-son!

  Homer Simpson : Stop telling them it was me! I'll kill you for saying it was me.

  Montgomery Burns : What is the meaning of this? Smithers, who is this beast that's shaking me?

• Lisa : I don't think anyone in this family is capable of attempted murder.

  Grampa : You never know what you're capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a german plane. But last year I proved myself wrong.

• Lisa : But I could never shoot someone.

  Bart : Could so.

  Lisa : Could not.

  Bart : Could so.

  Lisa : Could not.

  Bart : Could so.

  Lisa : Could not.

• Lisa : Nancy Drew says that all you need to solve a mystery is an inquisitive temperament and two good friends. And I've got an inquisitive temperament. Maybe I could help solve this.

  Marge Simpson : Mmm... I think you're a little young to be investigating an attempted murder. Why don't you try to solve the mystery of who put that mud in the freezer?

  Bart : Who wants chocolate ice cream?

  Homer Simpson : Me, me, me!